#try python or open Scratch or something

[i-am-a-fish]

please learn how to code

like, if you're bored today, and not doing anything,

learn a little bit of coding please

[papervenom]

✩ chapter eighteen: winter break 94' ✩

summary: your fourth year starts with the return of the triwizard tournament— and a relationship with cedric diggory that should feel steady, but doesn’t. when harry’s name gets pulled from the goblet, everything shifts. the trio starts to crack, and being with cedric only adds to the tension. you’re sure about how you feel , you love him. but someone else is pulling for your attention, and it’s getting harder to ignore. a slow-burn, character-driven take on goblet of fire, told through your perspective

chapter warnings: smut (mature sexual content— reader and cedric are deeply in love and very physically intimate, with detailed description), alcohol use and a christmas drinking game, brief mentions of pot.

author’s note: surprise! christmas in spring. I know the timing’s a little backwards, but I couldn’t not write this moment. I really wanted to give reader and cedric this soft, almost tranquil little pocket of time together before everything kicks off again. there’s just something about winter and falling in love— the comfort, the way the world quiets down, that just felt so right for them. also!! I made a playlist for the cd that reader burns for cedric in this chapter <333 thank you so much for reading

word count: 10.5k

INSATIABLE MASTERLIST⋆˙⟡

December 24, 1994

"Ced, when's the timer going off?"

"Any second now, angel," he says, half-distracted, crouched down in front of the pantry with one hand braced on the door and the other rummaging around for the powdered sugar. Flour is dusted across his jumper, and there's a smear of dough on his jaw that he hasn't noticed yet. I've been meaning to wipe it off but I keep getting distracted.

Behind us, the Burrow is a blur of Christmas chaos. In the next room, Molly hums to herself, floating ribbons around a wobbling stack of presents. Arthur keeps wandering in and out, a tragically tangled garland of red and gold tinsel slung over his shoulder like some glittering, defeated python. His eyes flick nervously between Cedric, me, and the ancient Muggle mixer rattling away on the counter, blinking hard every time it lets out a strained whine or jolts violently when it hits a clump of brown sugar.

He hasn't asked about it yet, about how it works, but I can see it, the way curiosity keeps slipping past the caution in his eyes.

Cedric and I had found the mixer that morning at a secondhand Muggle stall in the village. It was scratched up, missing half its paint, but it was charming in a way I couldn't resist.

Cedric carried it all the way back, smirking at how absurdly proud I looked, kissing my forehead as I gushed about the cookies I was going to spoil everyone with.

The oven dings behind me, pulling me out of the moment. I gasp, twisting around to grab a dish towel and yank the oven door open.

A blast of heat rushes up my arms as I reach in too fast. The tray hisses when I grab it, too hot, and I curse under my breath, dropping it onto the stovetop with a clatter.

"Shit, ow!" I hiss, shaking my fingers out.

"Let me see," Cedric says, already at my side. He takes my wrist in gentle fingers, lifting it closer to his face to inspect. 

The burn isn't awful, just an angry red welt blooming across my knuckle, but he still treats it like it's life or death.

He brings my hand to his mouth, kissing it once, then again. His lips are warm and soft, his tongue flicking out slightly to soothe the sting.

I try not to giggle but fail, my stomach flipping.

"You're ridiculous," I whisper.

"Mm," His lips part, and without breaking eye contact, he sucks the tip of my finger into his mouth. "Tastes like cinnamon."

"Because we're baking, you lunatic."

He grins, wide and boyish, then conjures a cube of ice into his palm and runs it across the burn. The cold shocks my skin, making me shiver.

And that's when the twins barrel into the kitchen.

"Oh, my stars," Fred gasps, clutching his chest. "Are we interrupting?"

"Looks like we walked in on something steamy," George adds obnoxiously, biting his lip and humping the air because of course he does.

"We made cookies!" I blurt out, way too defensively, waving at the tray like it's proof of our innocence.

"Brilliant," Fred says, moving to grab one. 

I smack his hand instantly. "Don't you dare. They're cooling."

"Bloody hell," he grumbles. "You two are insufferable."

"I don't see you helping out," I replied coolly, grabbing the wooden spoon and licking a smear of dough off the side. It's warm, a little too heavy on the nutmeg, but still pretty good considering we eyeballed most of the ingredients.

When I glance up, Cedric's staring.

Not just looking, but focused. Mouth slightly parted, a slow flush creeping up his neck.

I drag the spoon back through the bowl, slow and deliberate, and lick it again.

When I look back, his breath hitches.

I smirk. "Eyes up, Diggory."

He steps in close behind me, one arm sliding around my waist, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. "You're a menace."

"You like it."

"I love it."

"For Merlin's sake," George mutters. "Get a room."

Things had shifted between Cedric and I after the Yule Ball.

Something unlatched inside me that night, something I didn't even realize had been locked up. Suddenly, it felt safe to want. To ache. To take up space— in the way I kissed him back, the way I moved against him, the way I pulled him closer without waiting to ask.

It wasn't just Cedric I felt closer to. It was myself.

I knew what I liked. What he liked. And neither of us was afraid to chase it.

We had a few precious days before the Hogwarts Express brought us back to Devon, and we spent nearly every hour of it locked in his room. Barely clothed. Mouths on each other. Hands everywhere. Making up for months of drawn-out tension with a hunger that felt like it had been simmering since September.

But it was more than sex. More than the heat, the gasps, the high. 

He took his time. He listened.

He memorized me like he was afraid to forget. And I let him.

I wanted him too much to pretend I didn't.

He ruined me in the best way. Over and over again.

Cedric taught me that intimacy wasn't meant to be terrifying. With him, it felt natural— like something my body had always known how to do, just waiting for the right person to remember it with. He was soft when I needed softness, rough when I craved more, and quietly attuned to every place I didn't know how to ask for yet.

I learned how to make him lose his composure; he learned how to hold me there, right on the edge, until I broke apart with his name on my lips. And when he was inside me— deep, slow, like he had all the time in the world, he looked at me like I was holy. 

Like I was everything.

We'd grown a little obsessed with taking care of each other during those few days. 

Especially over lunch hours.

I was pretty sure I was the only thing in the world that could make Cedric Diggory skip a meal, or at least eat half of one just so he wouldn't be too full to fuck me senseless between classes. 

Thursdays were our favorite. We had a two-hour block where we could eat, digest, and then disappear. 

His dorm. A broom closet. A bathroom. An empty classroom.

Against the stone wall of a corridor where the torches burned low and the castle kept our secrets.

Cedric Diggory was a drug.

It's only been two days since we left school, since we said goodbye, but it felt like weeks. 

I was going through withdrawal.

I couldn't stop thinking about him. His touch, his taste, his weight pressing me into something solid. His voice, hoarse and desperate, saying my name like a prayer.  The way his hair felt between my fingers, the way his lips dragged slow and heavy over my throat when he couldn't get close enough. 

He told me, more than once, whilst he was inside me— how my whimpers drove him crazy. How the way my voice caught when he hit the right spot made him lose his goddamn mind. 

How he'd never wanted anyone like this before. Never had anyone like this before.

And I believed him.

The desperation didn't burn out after the Yule Ball. It clung to us. Followed us home. Made us reckless.

We barely made it onto the Hogwarts Express before we were all over each other again. Somewhere between dodging the trolley cart and finding an empty Prefect carriage, Cedric had me pinned against the door, my leg hitched around his waist, our kisses too messy and frantic like we didn't have time to be careful.

It was thrilling— the blurred frost on the windows, the secret touches, the muffled gasps. 

We didn't even make it to the cushioned seats. 

He took me standing, my palms pressed flat against the door, his voice low and sweet in my ear, whispering praises that made me come undone around him.

We dressed in a rush afterward, limbs still trembling and faces flushed. 

We didn't even realize we'd mixed up our ties until we stepped out of the compartment when we arrived at Kings Cross. 

My red Gryffindor one ended up draped around his neck, the knot sloppy and twisted. His bright yellow Hufflepuff tie hung loosely around mine, both of us looking exactly like what we'd just done.

By the time we made it ten steps off the platform, it might as well have been posted on the notice board at school.

My friends were waiting for me. Fred and George were already doubled over in laughter, practically elbowing each other with glee.

"Looks like we've got a confirmed shag!" Fred called, loud enough to turn heads across the platform, his voice cracking with laughter.

I rolled my eyes, cheeks burning, and turned to Cedric.

He didn't flinch, just smirked like he was proud of it. His fingers brushed mine, casual and warm, like he'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

He glanced over my shoulder, spotting someone in the crowd, probably his parents, then leaned in slightly. "I'll write to you," he said, low and certain.

"Okay," I murmured, then gave him a quick, soft goodbye before turning toward my friends, trying not to look like I'd just been shagged on a moving train.

Harry looked like he wanted to be anywhere else, throwing an apprehensive glance to Ron who, for his part, stood stiffly, like he'd just taken a bludger to the gut.

Ginny's eyes found mine instantly, her smirk slow and smug.

"About bloody time," she muttered under her breath.

Hermione wasn't as subtle. The second I stepped into our circle, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me a few paces away from the others.

"Are you being safe?" she whispered urgently. "I brewed this on the train. Take it as soon as possible."

It was a contraceptive potion, discreet by design, but in that moment it may as well have been glowing. I felt like the entire train had been gossiping, and now I was holding proof. 

Mortifying, sure— but it was going to happen sooner or later.

I nodded quickly, cheeks burning, and tucked it into my pocket like it was a lifeline.

I knew I was being reckless. I knew it but I didn't care.

Because when it came to Cedric, getting swept away was starting to feel like the only way I wanted to go.

But then... I didn't see him for a few days.

My heart was full— really, it was. The Weasleys had this magic about them, something that made a home out of even the most chaotic mess. I was warm and fed and constantly being dragged into games and loud, happy conversations.

But I missed him.

Ached for him.

So when an owl started pecking frantically at Ginny's window one morning, I sprinted across the room to untie the note— recognized his handwriting instantly.

I miss you so much, I could kill the next person I hear from that isn't you.

Cedric asked if I could sneak away for a while. Said he wanted to show me the village nearby— his version of giving me a tour, which was really just an excuse to have me to himself. After a few letters back and forth, and one very excitable conversation with Mrs. Weasley, the plans started falling into place.

She had beamed when I asked, clapping her hands together like I'd just suggested something wonderful. "Oh, you must invite him! And his parents too— for Christmas Eve dinner!" she said, already half-planning the menu out loud.

And just like that, I was scribbling a letter back, fingers shaking, trying not to explode with nerves and excitement.

The idea of baking had started back at the castle— one of those late-night hobbies born out of smoking the stash of pot I'd smuggled in from the States. We'd get the munchies and end up sneaking down to the kitchens, where Cedric would lift me onto a counter and make something to satiate me whilst I giggled at him, stoned out of my mind. 

The house-elves would watch in horror, absolutely mortified that a wizard was doing anything as laborious as kneading dough or whisking batter by hand.

It became our thing, me kicking my feet from the counter, Cedric moving around the kitchen like it was just another Quidditch pitch he had to conquer, grinning at me the whole time.

I was smiling at the memory when I felt him crowd in closer, his body slotting between my legs, cornering me against the kitchen counter with his hands braced on either side of me.

"When am I going to see you next?" he murmured, dragging me out of my thoughts.

I blinked up at him, the weight of him, the warmth of him, making my chest feel stupidly full. "Mrs. Weasley asked me to invite you and your parents for Christmas Eve dinner tonight," I said, voice hopeful.

"Oh yeah?" he said casually, brushing my hair back behind my ears. "I'll let them know."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why does that sound not likely?"

He hesitated, his mouth pulling into a grimace. "It's just... my dad's having some friends over from the Ministry. He wanted me there to talk about the Tournament... but I'll try to get away."

My face must have fallen because he immediately leaned in to kiss me, quick and sweet and soft.

"I miss you," I mumbled against his mouth, pouting as he smoothed his hands up my sides. "I feel like we haven't spent any real time together."

"I know." He kissed me again, lingering this time. "It's just hard, with family. But we'll find time. Why don't you come over to mine for dinner? My parents have been asking about you."

I hesitated, nibbling my bottom lip. "I feel bad leaving Mrs. Weasley after she's been making such a fuss getting everything ready... but I'll see what I can do. Maybe I can sneak out after dinner. Although that might be too late, Ced, seriously, listen to me—"

I broke off into giggles as he started kissing down my neck, ignoring every word, his lips brushing over the spot that made my knees want to buckle.

"You're the worst," I giggled, trying to squirm away half-heartedly.

From the next room, I could hear Fred and George whispering to each other in fast, hushed voices— the kind of mischief-heavy tone that meant they were back to testing their joke treats. The idea made me smile. Of course they couldn't leave things alone, not even for Christmas.

I was half-listening to Cedric's response when I heard one of them break away, footsteps padding toward the kitchen.

George strolled in, clearly mid-snack mission, and made a beeline for the now-cooled tray of cookies. But the second he spotted us, me by the counter, Cedric pressed in close, lips trailing lazily along my neck— he froze, then barked out a laugh.

"Damn," he said, shaking his head. "That little bird's got you by the balls, mate."

Cedric didn't miss a beat. He just grinned, still nosing against my neck, and said, "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Cedric broke off just in time when Fred wandered back in, whispering something fast under his breath to George. They were definitely back to scheming— voices low and sharp, the telltale sound of joke-treat plotting. I barely had a second to clock it before Mrs. Weasley and Arthur followed close behind, Mrs. Weasley brandishing a small hand towel like a weapon.

"Oi! Hands off those cookies, you'll spoil your dinner!" she chirped, swatting Fred and George both in the stomach as they cackled and darted away.

Cedric excused himself, laughing, brushing flour and streaks of dough off his jumper. "Mind if I use the restroom to clean up?" he asked.

"Right through there, dear," Molly said, beaming and pointing down the hallway.

As soon as he was out of sight, Mrs. Weasley turned toward me, wiping her hands on the towel. Her whole face lit up.

"Oh, darling," she cooed, practically vibrating with excitement. "He's beautiful! You two make such a gorgeous couple. Are the Diggorys coming over for dinner?"

I smiled awkwardly. "I asked... but he claims he's busy. I don't think he wants to impose."

"That's nonsense!" she declared, tossing the towel onto the counter with a flourish. "I've seen that boy grow up, he used to run around here with Fred and George, as perfect a little gentleman as you could find. It would make me so happy to have them. The more, the merrier!"

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," I said, warmed by how genuinely she meant it. "I'll try again."

Cedric reappeared a moment later, hands freshly washed, his hair a little damp where he'd splashed water on his face. Molly beamed at him, reaching up to pat his cheek fondly.

"Such a handsome boy," she said warmly.

Cedric gave her one of those soft, easy smiles that made my brain static. I grabbed his hand, tugging him gently toward the living room just as more of the Weasley brothers descended into the kitchen, lured by the smell of cooling cookies.

He dropped onto the couch and pulled me down with him without hesitation, his arms curling easily around my waist.

Across the room, Charlie and Bill were now getting scolded by Molly for trying to sneak cookies too. I laughed under my breath, settling back against Cedric's chest.

"Molly's asked me to get you to come by tonight again," I said, nudging him playfully.

"(Y/N), I want to," he murmured, brushing his nose against my temple.

"Then come," I insisted.

"You know I can't do that," he said, voice low, regretful.

"Then I won't see you until we're back at the castle," I said, pouting.

He frowned. "Thought you said you'd sneak out?"

"Yeah? After dinner, when everyone's asleep? What will we even do then?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him, smirking.

Cedric's mouth twitched. He leaned in, pressing a kiss just below my ear. "I can think of a few things," he whispered.

I giggled, swatting at him just as heavy footsteps thundered down the stairs.

Ron burst into the room, face flushed, but the second he saw us— legs tangled, Cedric's arm resting lazily along the back of the couch, his whole expression soured.

Cedric straightened up fast, clearing his throat and sliding a few inches away from me, though his hand stayed linked with mine.

Ron stomped over to the cookie tray, snatching one without a word, too busy glaring at us to notice how good it was— which said a lot, considering how much Ron Weasley loved food. 

The hatred practically radiated off him.

Cedric followed Ron's retreat with his eyes and sighed.

"I should go," Cedric said under his breath.

"Why?" I asked, concerned.

His grey eyes flicked back to mine, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I mean, he doesn't really like me, does he? Never did."

I exhaled, dragging my fingers through my hair. "He thinks he has a crush on me and he's being dramatic about it."

Cedric's smile widened. "He has a massive crush on you."

I rolled my eyes. "No, he doesn't. I mean... he does. But it's the veela effect."

Cedric groaned loudly, throwing his head back against the couch in mock agony.

"What?" I said, laughing because he looked so devastatingly beautiful sprawled out like that— his chiseled jawline, his chest rumbling with laughter. I wished we were alone so I could throw him down on this couch and climb on top of him.

"You need to stop excusing everyone's infatuation toward you as the veela effect, (Y/N)," he said, punctuating each word with a kiss, one to my cheek, one to my jaw, one just below my ear.

"You are fucking gorgeous," kiss, "and perfect," kiss, "in every single way—"

"I don't excuse everyone," I protested, breathless and grinning.

"You thought I was under your spell," Cedric teased, his eyes twinkling.

"Well, yeah... but Ron really is," I insisted. "He gets all hazy when he looks at me, same way he does with Fleur. I mean, did you hear how he asked her to the Yule Ball? He was mortified. He had no control over himself."

Cedric shook his head, still smiling. "He might get like that around Fleur. But when you're both in the room, he still looks at you. And it's not the same hypnotized, veela-dazed look everyone else has. It's different. He's in love with you."

"Ced..." I said, soft, unsure.

He squeezed my hand. "It doesn't bother me. If anything, it just makes me grateful. Grateful that I get to have you in my arms. But... I can tell the difference between someone enchanted by you and someone who's just plain lovesick."

Before I could respond, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny were the last to wander into the kitchen.

"Cookies?" Harry asked hopefully, peering around.

"Oh, hi, Cedric!" Hermione greeted brightly.

"Hello," Cedric said warmly, standing up and smoothing his jumper. "Help yourselves, we made plenty."

He shook Harry's hand, exchanged a few polite words, and then turned to me. I quickly wrapped a few cookies in a napkin for him, pressing them into his hands.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my lips, fast but full of feeling, and then nodded toward Ron, who still hadn't looked at us once.

"Tell your mum I said thanks for letting me visit, Ron," Cedric said, his voice polite.

Ron grunted something under his breath, too busy staring at the floor.

I shot him a glare as Cedric headed for the door, heart already aching.

"These are so good," Hermione said around a mouthful of cookie.

"Muggle made," I said proudly, heading back into the kitchen to find a towel, Ginny and Hermione trailing after me. "Cedric and I went down to the village to buy a mixer and some supplies."

Ginny giggled at the way I beamed, and I couldn't help it — I did a little happy dance right there on the kitchen tiles, my giddiness so contagious it made Hermione and Ginny squeal with laughter too.

By the time the last cookie was snatched, the Weasleys had dispersed again — some off to clean up for dinner, others back to wrapping presents or sneaking in naps before the evening chaos really kicked off. The kitchen looked spotless, like Cedric and I had never even been there. Counters wiped, floors swept, dishes stacked neatly to dry.

I slumped into one of the chairs, elbows propped on the table, launching straight into a hushed, giddy retelling of everything to Ginny and Hermione.

It had become our thing, almost without trying — sneaking off to gossip in corners, slipping into conversations the boys had absolutely no patience for. Which honestly suited me fine. The girls gave me exactly the reaction I wanted: wide eyes, gasps, hand-over-mouth giggles. They ooh'd and ahh'd like they were watching a soap opera unfold live.

"Shit, I need to call my mum and wish her Merry Christmas," I said suddenly, grabbing the nearest towel to wipe my hands. "It's easier here, actually. Dumbledore lets me make weekly calls during the year, but he always sits in the room and it's... weird. Hard to update her when I have to censor everything."

Ginny wrinkled her nose. "That's awful."

"Yeah," I said, nodding — then grinned sheepishly. "I told her about Cedric."

"Ooh," Hermione leaned forward, eyes wide. "What'd you say?"

"Just... 'remember that boy I told you I liked?'" I shrugged. "And she immediately went full mom-mode. Asked if we were being safe. I said yes and hung up immediately," I told them, mortified,  and we all burst into laughter.

Still giggling, we made our way back toward the living room where Ron and Harry were now parked, both looking at us with varying degrees of caution, like they weren't sure if it was safe to be around us yet.

I was nice enough to wait until the giggling died down before regrouping.

"Did I hear something about your mum?" Harry asked, looking relieved for a topic he could safely latch onto. "How's she doing?"

"She's fine," I said, dropping down onto the couch. Hermione plopped down beside me, and I immediately flopped my head into her lap, kicking my feet up across Harry's. "I talked to her yesterday. She already misses us. Asked if we'll be coming home for the summer."

"Wicked," Harry said, brightening.

I grinned. "What do you say, Hermione? Summer in the States? It's not as pretty as Europe, but it could be fun."

"Oh... I assume my parents already have next summer's trip all planned out," Hermione said, stroking absent-mindedly through my hair. "But I'll ask!"

Across the room, Ron still pretended I didn't exist. He sat stiffly in an armchair, arms stretched across the back, glaring at the fireplace like it had personally offended him.

Hermione gave me a pointed look,  that wide-eyed, do something expression that felt way too familiar.

I sighed. Preparing myself to be the bigger person, again.

"You, Ron?" I said lightly, still stretched across my friends like a cat. "You still up for our plan of amusement parks and greasy American fast food?"

Ron didn't miss a beat. "Sure, as long as your bellend boyfriend doesn't come."

"RONALD!" Hermione exploded.

I just laughed, half-expecting that exact answer.

"I don't like him," Ron snapped. "He's so full of himself. Walks around like he's already Merlin's almighty Triwizard Champion when Harry has a better chance than he does."

"Oh, don't try to twist this into being about the tournament," I said, sitting up now. "Cedric is not full of himself, and Harry doesn't give a shit about him in terms of competition. You're mad because he's with me."

"Whatever," Ron muttered. "I still don't like him. And I don't appreciate you bringing him into my home."

I blinked. Then blinked again.

"Neither your mom, your dad, your brothers, or  Ginny have a problem with it. So why should you?" I said, voice rising. "He's my fucking boyfriend, Ron. Maybe if you stopped being so miserable all the time, you'd actually enjoy being around him. And I'd enjoy being around you again. Jesus fuck."

Silence.

Hermione's mouth dropped open. Ginny looked up sharply. Harry froze.

"Wait," Ron said, voice like a shot. "He's your boyfriend?"

I stammered. "I mean... I think he is. I mean, we—"

The silence dragged.

I was fuming. 

So was Ron. 

The tension was so thick it felt like one wrong word could snap it in half.

"Okaaay," Harry said quickly, clapping his hands. "Let's... let's do something. Before we murder each other."

The tension didn't vanish, it just cracked enough for us to breathe again.

There were only so many things to do around the Burrow, and most of them involved lounging around, playing half-hearted games, and trying not to trip over enchanted Christmas decorations.

So we spent the few hours before dinner doing exactly that.

There was a mountain of homework looming over us, but none of us even thought about touching it. That was out of the question.

Except Hermione, of course— already buried in a book the size of a paving stone, while the rest of us sprawled across the living room in various states of post-cookie laziness.

Ginny and I had my Discman between us, one earbud each, quietly sharing music and mouthing the lyrics. 

Harry and Ron were hunched over the chessboard, locked in another ruthless round.

"You really ought to have a look at that egg, you know," Hermione said suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence. "Start working out what it means..."

"Hermione, he's got ages," Ron snapped.

Hermione gave Harry a look. He sighed.

"Come on, how am I supposed to concentrate right now?" he muttered. "Can't it wait 'til after the holiday?"

"I suppose it can," she said with a dramatic sigh, setting her book down with an exaggerated thump.

Ron's chess pieces were as violent as ever. The match proceeding with a reckless pawn sacrifice and an unnecessarily brutal bishop decapitation. Harry picked up a piece, turning it over in his fingers.

"Sirius is supposed to write me back tonight," he said casually. "I asked him more about Karkaroff."

"Oh! I forgot to tell you," I said, sitting up straighter. "At the Yule Ball, Karkaroff was being really weird. I overheard him talking to Malfoy— told him to say hello to his parents, and Malfoy just got... really tense. Afterwards Karkaroff started asking me strange questions, too. About my dad."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "I overheard him arguing with Snape in the dungeons after the Ball."

Ron, finally sounding like himself again, added, "Snape looked ready to hex him into next week."

Hermione frowned. "That's not surprising... But definitely something to keep an eye on."

We all agreed. 

The signs were there. 

Sirius might be right about him.

The evening quickly arrived, and before we knew it we were seated around the long kitchen table, digging into Christmas dinner. Prime rib, parsnip and carrot purée, praline chestnuts, sprouts, pigs in blankets, golden roast potatoes, Christmas pudding, and Harry's favorite— treacle tart.

We ate until we couldn't move. 

Mrs. Weasley had truly outdone herself.

And then, once the plates were cleared and the sky outside turned inky blue, Fred and George returned with shot glasses and dangerous smiles.

Fred dropped the first bottle on the table with a loud thunk. 

"Alright, you lot. Christmas Eve drinking game."

"You're joking," Hermione said, already backing away.

"Not even a little," George grinned.

Before Fred could explain the rules, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood up from the table, stretching and rubbing their eyes, clearly ready to call it a night after a long day of gift-wrapping, wand-waving, and pulling together Christmas dinner.

"Not too much now," Mrs. Weasley warned, gathering a few stray plates. "And absolutely no encouraging Ginny to overdo it," she added, shooting a look at Fred and George like she already knew exactly who the culprits would be.

"We'd never dream of it, Mum," Fred snickered, Ginny whinging under her breath because her parents were babying her. 

"Model citizens, the both of us." George added. 

Arthur chuckled under his breath, patting Mrs. Weasley's shoulder. "Let them have their fun. Just don't burn the house down."

With that, they disappeared upstairs, footsteps creaking on the old staircase.

Percy left not long after, haughtily sweeping from the room as if a drinking game was far beneath him, muttering something about "more important things to tend to."

His departure was met with immediate relief.

Which left Bill, Charlie, Ron, the twins, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and me gathered around the kitchen table, all exchanging looks— half excited, half bracing for impact, as Fred and George began preparing whatever chaos they had in mind.

Fred spun the bottle lazily between his fingers, grinning like he'd just invented mischief.

"Alright," he said. "Who's ready to regret their life choices?"

George snatched the bottle from him and raised it like a toast. 

"Simple rules," he announced. "Spin, point, drink, dare. Refuse the dare—two shots. Do it— just the one. Winner gets bragging rights. Loser gets their eyebrows singed off."

"That's not a real rule," Hermione said flatly.

"It is now," George replied with a wicked grin.

Bill leaned back in his chair, sipping his butterbeer. "God help us."

The bottle spun and clattered across the tabletop, landing on Ron.

"Dare," he said immediately, trying hard to sound cool and not at all nervous.

George's eyes lit up. "Sing Celestina Warbeck's 'A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love.' Serenade style."

Ron looked like he'd rather eat a Blast-Ended Skrewt, but he stood up anyway, wobbling slightly, and belted the first verse so dramatically that Ginny broke into a fit of laughter and nearly fell off her chair.

The second spin landed on Hermione, who was clearly praying for divine intervention. 

Her dare? Chug half a glass of eggnog without gagging. She failed spectacularly, sputtering halfway through, and Fred cackled as he handed her two shots.

Charlie, amused and surprisingly competitive, picked dare and had to switch clothes with George for the next round. 

Watching a grown dragon handler squeeze into a twin's jumper was enough to make half the room cry laughing.

Harry got dared to kiss Ginny on the cheek, which turned him so red he looked like he'd caught fire, and then he took a second shot anyway to save himself from further humiliation.

When the bottle finally spun to me, I didn't hesitate. "Give me your worst."

Fred and George exchanged a long, exaggerated glance before Fred leaned in with a grin.

"Alright, darling. Give us your worst pickup line. And you have to sell it."

The room stirred with anticipation.

"Oh, you want bad?" I said, rising to my feet like I was taking center stage. I rolled my shoulders, tossed my hair, and leaned in with mock intensity.

"Are you a Dementor?" I purred, voice flat and low. "Because every time you come near... I lose my will to live."

George let out a strangled cough. Bill cracked up, laughing into his drink.

I held up a finger. "Wait for it."

I took a slow breath, locked eyes with Fred, and added casually, "Also, I'm not wearing any knickers."

That did it.

Charlie burst out in laughter. Hermione slapped both hands over her mouth. Ron made a noise like he'd swallowed a Quaffle sideways.

Fred just blinked at me. Once. Then again. Hands raised, he leaned back like he'd been hit.

"I said worst pickup line, (Y/N)," he said, almost stunned. "Not most effective. Bloody hell."

And okay, yeah, it was the alcohol that made me so bold. But even through the laughter, I caught the look Ron and the twins were giving me— half impressed, half scandalized, and just barely this side of turned on.

Not the result I'd planned for.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud of it.

When the time came that the bottle got back to Hermione, she was flushed and giggling, not even pretending to argue as she tipped back another shot.

The room grew louder. The dares got sloppier. Ron ended up wearing Bill's old boots. Harry had to serenade a mince pie. Fred attempted to duel the Christmas tree and lost spectacularly. George drank straight from the bottle when nobody could agree on a dare good enough to top the last.

Everyone was getting drunker by the minute— flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, voices rising with every passing hour.

I wasn't immune to it,  there was a warm buzz under my skin, but I stayed careful. 

Sipping water between rounds. 

I wanted to remember tonight. 

Wanted to stay clear-headed enough to enjoy it without losing myself.

One by one, people started peeling off. 

Charlie left first, muttering something about needing to be up early. Bill followed not long after, clapping Fred and George on the backs and calling them "bad influences." 

Ron and Harry fell asleep half-upright on the couch, snoring lightly.

Soon it was just Ginny, Hermione, the twins, and me still awake— and even Ginny was slumping sideways in her chair, eyelids drooping.

I was just thinking about helping clean up when there was a sudden, frantic tap against the kitchen window.

An owl.

I blinked, sobering a little as I crossed the kitchen. Everyone else was still too drunk to notice.

The poor thing looked slightly windblown, its feathers puffed and ruffled, eyes wide like it was carrying urgent news. I cracked the window open, careful not to let in too much cold, and untied the small parchment tied to its leg.

The handwriting was unmistakable — slanted, neat, a little rushed.

I miss you terrible. Can you sneak out?Please? I want to see you.

— C

My stomach flipped.

He missed me. He wanted me. And the moment I imagined his voice behind those words— low, teasing, warm— I was already looking for my coat.

"Be right back," I murmured to no one in particular, tucking the note into my pocket.

Ginny was curled into an armchair, mumbling about something incoherent as she kicked off her shoes and pulled her sleeves over her hands. Fred and George were still buzzing with drunken laughter. 

No one paid me any mind as I slipped into the hallway and grabbed my shoes.

I moved quietly, slipping past creaky floorboards as if I'd done it a hundred times. 

Coat, scarf, wand. Door eased open. Cold air hit my cheeks like a secret.

And just like that, I was gone—  stepping into the night, already flushed, already buzzing with the thought of him.

Of Cedric.

Of where this was going.

And what I'd let him do to me when I got there.

By the time I reached the edge of the Diggory's property, I was about to head up to the front door when I heard him.

"Over here," Cedric whispered loudly from his window, barely visible through the frosty glass. I turned and found him leaning out, grinning like a boy sneaking sweets before dinner.

He disappeared for a second, then the window creaked open wider, and I saw him reach out a hand.

"Come on, before someone sees you."

His grip was steady, warm despite the cold. He pulled me up with practiced ease, helping me over the sill and into the room with a muffled laugh. My boots thudded softly against the wooden floor as I landed inside, snowflakes melting off my coat.

He looked gorgeous, clearly dressed for Christmas dinner in smart trousers and an adorable cashmere sweater that made him look equal parts cozy and kissable.

"Sorry," he said, brushing a hand through his hair. "There are a few of my dad's coworkers here tonight. All Ministry. Very boring. Thought I'd spare you."

The room was warm and dimly lit, smelling faintly of cedar and something sweet and spiced,  maybe mulled wine. A record was already turning in the corner, the soft scratch of vinyl filling the quiet space between us with soft music.

"It's okay," I giggled, starting to peel off my layers— coat, scarf, gloves, my fingers clumsy from the cold.

Then I felt him.

His body pressed close behind mine. His breath warm against my neck. One arm snaking around my waist, the other holding something above our heads.

Mistletoe.

He grinned, cocky and gorgeous and utterly unbothered, like he'd been waiting all night for this exact moment.

And I giggled before I could help it because of course he had mistletoe.

I didn't expect any less from this beautiful, maddening, perfect boy.

"House rules," Cedric said, voice low and pleased, lips already brushing my cheek.

I turned into the kiss without thinking, our mouths finding each other easily, like it was a ritual. Like we'd done it in every life before this one.

My back hit the wall with a dull thud as he moved into me fully, the mistletoe falling to the floor, forgotten. He smiled into the kiss, all warm breath and flushed skin.

"Missed you," he murmured against my lips, his hands cupping my face, thumbs grazing over my cheeks. "So much."

"Show me," I whispered.

His fingers slid under my jumper, warm palms tracing up my sides until he found bare skin. He sighed into the kiss when he felt it, like he'd needed to touch me just to breathe again. I reached for the hem of his sweater, yanking it off with one pull and he stood there in the low light, shirtless and golden and glowing. 

I don't think I'll ever get over how beautiful he looks. Not when he's like this. Not when he's mine.

He dipped his head, lips dragging over my throat. Open-mouthed kisses trailed along my collarbone, wet and slow. I could feel him, hard through his trousers, thick and hot against my thigh, and I gasped when I rocked into him.

"Fuck," he breathed. "You're already soaked, aren't you?"

I nodded, incapable of forming words. His hand moved between us, sliding into my waistband, fingers seeking and finding the heat between my thighs.

"Mmm," Cedric hummed, his forefinger and thumb tilting my chin toward him. His nose brushed mine, breath catching. "You're throbbing for me, baby. So fucking wet."

When he pressed his finger against my clit, circling slow and devastating, I let out a breathless sound, more whimper than word. His other fingers teased at my entrance, just the barest hint of fullness. It was enough to make my legs tremble, not nearly enough to satisfy.

The only fullness I wanted was Cedric's cock. That thick, heavy weight pressed against my hip. No finger could match the stretch of him, the ache I was begging to feel.

"I need you," I whispered, and he moved me toward the bed, step by step, kissing my jaw, the corner of my mouth, the shell of my ear. Every touch burned.

When I peeled off the rest of my clothes, he dropped to his knees. Hands curling around the backs of my thighs, he tugged me forward until I was perched right at the edge of the bed, bare and trembling. He looked up at me like I was the feast and he was starving.

Outside, there was laughter— faint and distant. I was grateful Cedric's parents and their guests were distracted. No one would hear the filthy noises I was about to make.

Then his mouth was on me. He licked a slow stripe through my folds, the tip of his tongue flicking over my clit with maddening precision. My back arched. A moan tore from my throat. He groaned into me, like he'd been craving this.

"Taste better than I remembered," he murmured, mouth wet against my thigh.

He didn't stop until my thighs were trembling, my hands fisted in the sheets, hips bucking for more. Then he stood, undid his trousers, and shoved them down with one hand, his cock springing free— thick, flushed, and already glistening at the tip.

He crawled over me, dragging the head of his cock through my folds, teasing me until I whined, begging without shame.

Then he pushed in.

One long, slow thrust that filled me completely, made my spine curve and my lips part in a moan.

"Merlin," he choked, arms braced on either side of me. "You feel so good."

I couldn't speak. Just wrapped my arms around his shoulders and clung to him, my legs locking around his waist.

He started to move— slow, deep thrusts that hit every nerve ending. His hips rolled in a rhythm that felt like worship. And ruin. My fingers dug into his back. I could hear myself mumbling, gasping, nonsense.

 Cedric just chuckled, kissing my cheek.

"You're so gorgeous when you fall apart for me," he said, dragging his lips down my jaw. "I love you, princess."

"I—" I tried to say it back, but his next thrust knocked the air from my lungs. I dragged my nails down his back, moaning. He hissed in pleasure, bucking into me harder.

Each thrust was measured, perfect. He was making love to me, but with a purpose, building up his release slowly, like he wanted to feel every second. Our eyes stayed locked, our breathing synchronized. I hooked my fingers around the back of his neck, his nose brushing mine, his moans getting rougher, raspier, more desperate.

"You're so perfect," he gasped. "So fucking perfect, Gods."

I kissed him, hungry, messy. He groaned into my mouth, and I could feel him start to throb inside me.

I was right there with him. My body wound tight, hips rolling to meet every thrust, every press of his pelvis against my clit. I was burning up, every inch of me trembling.

"Ced, I'm—I'm gonna—fuck—!"

"Go on," he growled into my ear, hand clutching my hip as he quickened the pace, voice breaking. "Come for me, sweetheart."

My orgasm tore through me like lightning, my body arching into his as I cried out his name. He kept thrusting, fucking me through it, relentless even as I clenched around him.

"Ah, fuck—" Cedric groaned, hips stuttering. "You gonna let me fill you up baby? Pump you full of my cum?"

"Yes, yes— please," I whimpered.

That did it.

He moaned my name, hips slamming into me one final time as he came hard, hot pulses spilling inside me. His body collapsed over mine, still twitching from the aftershocks, lips pressed to my cheek.

He stayed inside me for a long moment, breathing hard, our bodies still tangled, still slick with sweat. His forehead rested against mine, noses brushing, eyes locked. He kissed me— soft now, unhurried.

When he finally pulled out, slow and careful, I whimpered, more from the absence than anything else. He kissed down my bare stomach, slow, warm presses of his lips as he worked his way lower, humming softly between each kiss. I squealed when he kissed the curve of my bare ass, and he only grinned, crawling back up to hover over me again.

"Can we stay like this forever?" he whispered, brushing his mouth across mine.

I laughed, breathless. My fingers tangled in his damp hair as I pulled him in for another kiss. "I'd love nothing more."

So we stayed like that for a while— our bodies pressed together under the weight of the moment. Everything was soft now. Mellow. It was one of my favorite things about us, how naturally we shifted from heat to hush. No awkwardness. No tension. Just a shared, breathless calm.

I loved how comfortable we'd grown with each other. How easily we fell into conversation after sex, limbs tangled, hands tracing patterns along bare skin, hearts still beating like war drums in our chests.

We were lying on our backs, staring up at the ceiling, fingers laced between us, when I broke the silence, "During the summer, Harry and I caught this weird documentary on Muggle TV. It was about this filmmaker who tried to build an opera house in the middle of the Amazon for a movie called 'Fitzcarraldo'. Total chaos. Everything that could go wrong did— bad weather, budget disasters, cast changes. The original lead actor actually got sick, and they had to recast and reshoot most of it. But the director, Werner Herzog, kept going. He literally dragged a full steamship over a mountain. And somehow, he made the film anyway."

Cedric turned his head toward me, interested, silent.

"And there's this band I love, Cigarettes After Sex, they wrote a song inspired by the film. You can hear the opera piece from the movie in the intro. I was so excited when I made the connection. I put the song in your—" I stopped, my mouth clamping shut mid-sentence. My heart lurched.

"In my what?" he asked, already smiling like he knew.

My cheeks burned. "Never mind."

"No, you cheeky girl. Come on, tell me. You can't just start something and leave me hanging," he said, tugging gently at my joined hand.

I sighed, face hot. "Fine, before I forget..."

I slipped out from under the covers, reaching across the floor for my bag— the one I dropped while climbing in through his window. 

 I dug until I felt the plastic case— the one I'd tucked away before sneaking out of the Burrow. I handed it to him wordlessly, hoping he wouldn't notice the blush creeping up my face.

It was labeled in sharpie, 'Cedric's CD'. 

Inside was a folded sheet of parchment, handwritten with all the songs I'd picked, a little note beside each one explaining why it made me think of him.

He sat up, instantly alert. "You made me a mixtape?"

"I burned it back home. I know it's dumb. And small. I just— I didn't have anything else to give you."

"You give me everything just by breathing," he said, like it was the easiest truth in the world.

I wanted to roll my eyes but it landed too hard in my chest, like my heart didn't know how to take a compliment that honest.

He opened the case slowly, like it was something sacred. His eyes scanned the tracklist, lighting up as he read the names.

"I can't wait to put this on," he murmured.

He stood up— completely naked, unbothered— and it just made me smile. There was something easy about us now. I watched him cross the room, soft light catching on his skin, and all I felt was warmth. Not nerves. Not insecurity. Just comfort. Just him. And that familiar, swelling feeling in my chest that made it impossible not to smile.

He held the CD in his hand like it was something personal— like he was holding a piece of me and it mattered more than I realized.

At the record player in the corner, he stopped the vinyl, then flipped open the CD tray beneath it. A low hum filled the room. The first track came to life: Opera House by Cigarettes After Sex, the haunting intro echoing in the quiet like a memory neither of us had lived yet.

My chest ached at the sound.

He came back to bed, that perfect face lit in warm lamplight, and slipped under the covers, pulling me into him again like it was instinct. Like he couldn't stop touching me even if he tried.

His arms were heavy around my waist. The song played. I pressed my cheek to his chest and let my fingers trace the shape of his ribs through soft skin.

"I love you so much, Cedric," I whispered, the words barely audible over the music. But I knew he heard them. Felt them. "I've been so happy since we've been together. Happier than I thought I could be."

It came out softer than I meant. A little breathless. A little too raw.

I said it like a test.

Because part of me still needed to hear it back.

Not just for the sake of it. But because earlier, when Ron had said what he said, when the doubt had slithered in, I started questioning things I didn't want to. 

So I waited.

And when he didn't answer right away, when the silence stretched longer than it should've, my stomach dropped.

It was only a second.

But it was enough.

I pulled back, stiff, like I'd been stung. "What?"

Cedric's face changed instantly— his whole body jolting upright like I'd shocked him back into the moment. "No, wait— no, no, no."

"Then why did you hesitate?" My voice wavering. I was already sitting up, wrapping the sheet around me like armor. "Do you not want to be with me? Are you still—" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Are you not over Cho?"

He stared at me, stunned. "What? No. Gods, no. Baby..." He moved fast, reaching for my hands, tugging me back toward him. "How could you even think that? You're all I think about. You've been it for me since day one."

"But you hesitated."

"Because I'm scared." His voice broke on the last word. "Not of you. Of me. Of this. Of getting it wrong. I don't want to mess this up. I want you to be mine, more than anything— but I'm in the middle of this goddamn tournament, and I'm drowning in it. I can't be the boyfriend you deserve right now. I'm exhausted. I'm scattered. I'm scared I'll end up hurting you."

I looked at him, heart thundering, unsure if I wanted to scream or cry.

"You won't," I said quietly. "You already mean more to me than anyone ever has."

He exhaled, shakily. "After the tournament. When I can give you all of me... can I ask you again then? Properly? Can I make you mine?"

I didn't answer right away. The song shifted to the next track, slow and low and hazy.

Eventually, I gave a small nod. "Okay."

He let out the smallest breath of relief. Like he'd been holding it for days.

"I'm so in love with you," he murmured, reaching up to cup my cheek again.

"I love you, too," I whispered. "Even when you're a div."

That made him smile. He kissed me, and I melted into it— gentle and slow and aching.

"I'm not seeing anyone else," he said again, like it was important that I heard it. "I don't want anyone else. It's just you. It's always been you."

I blinked hard. My throat burned.

Then, from the drawer beside his bed, he pulled out a tiny velvet box. Held it for a beat, like he was waiting to see if I'd let him.

"I was going to wait until morning," he said. "But I want you to have this now."

He handed it to me. Inside sat a delicate gold necklace, thin as thread, with a single charm: the letter C.

"Cedric..." I cooed. "It's beautiful. You didn't have to—"

"It's not a big deal."

"It is," I said, staring at it. "Especially when all I got you was a burned CD."

"Your CD is everything," he said. "It's your music. Your taste. Your heart. You made it with your hands. That's what matters."

I went quiet for a second, the weight of it settling in my chest. Not guilt, exactly. Just this stupid ache, the way I always felt when someone saw more value in me than I knew what to do with.

He reached out, thumb brushing the corner of my mouth.

"You whingy little thing," he said, teasing, warm. He pulled me into him until I was curled against his chest. "It's lucky I like when you get pouty. Means I get to kiss it better."

And he did.

Then he whispered it all, how I was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. But not just in the surface way. It was my laugh. My voice. My stubbornness. My way of seeing the world. He said he couldn't put it into words, but that being near me felt like being pulled toward a light he didn't know he needed.

I didn't say anything.

I just kissed him again, fingers combing through his hair.

And sometime after that, with the CD still playing and our bodies tangled, we fell asleep. His fingers were tracing shapes into my skin— soft, lazy, aimless. Like he didn't even know he was doing it. Like he just wanted to feel me under his hands.

I fell asleep thinking about how lucky I was.

I was in love with this boy whose eyes lit up when he talked about Quidditch. Who scrunched his nose when he laughed, like he was trying to hold it in but never could. Who made me feel like the most important person in any room, just by looking at me like I mattered. Who'd break into a fit of boyish giggles that made my stomach braid.

I fell asleep thinking about how, when he held me, there wasn't a single place I'd rather be.

And I knew, without a flicker of doubt, I was in love with Cedric Diggory.

And I'd wait a lifetime for this, if I had to.

༻✦༺

The morning came gently.

I woke slowly, somewhere between a dream and the warmth of his body tangled with mine.

For a second, I couldn't remember where I was— just that it smelled like him and I was warm.

Safe. 

My legs were draped over his, our bodies fitted together like we'd always belonged like this.

The room had gone quiet, save for the soft ticking of a clock on the wall and the hush of wind brushing against the windows.

His arm was heavy across my waist, his face buried against the crook of my neck. I could feel each slow breath he took, soft and steady.

I didn't move. I just stared at the ceiling, trying to memorize it all. The early light seeping in through the curtains. The faint trace of his cologne still clinging to my skin. The way one of his curls had fallen into his eyes.

I could still feel where he'd kissed me. The necklace he gave me sat cool against my chest, catching little glints of silver light. I traced it lightly, fingers brushing over the tiny C on the charm, and felt something bloom in my chest all over again.

This was real.

Him. Us. All of it.

I didn't want to wake him. I wanted to freeze this moment, tuck it away where nothing could ruin it.

But outside, the world was waiting. 

And Christmas morning at the Burrow wasn't going to wait for me.

I turned to him gently, brushing my nose against his cheek.

"Ced," I whispered, shaking his shoulder. "Ced."

He groaned, shifting beneath the covers. "Sweetheart, what—?"

"I have to head back before everyone wakes up. It's Christmas."

He grumbled sleepily. "Merry Christmas, gorgeous." His voice was scratchy and low as he nuzzled into my neck. I felt him inhale, long and slow.

"Are you... are you smelling my hair?"

"Mhm." His arms tightened around my waist like a sleepy bear refusing to let go.

I giggled, squirming out of his hold. "I have to go!"

"Tell them I kidnapped you," he mumbled into the pillow, voice muffled.

"I'm stealing your sweater," I said, already tugging it on— the same one I'd tossed to the floor the night before while undressing him. It smelled like him— warm skin, cedarwood, that boyish cologne I couldn't name but knew by heart.

I pulled open the curtains. Morning light spilled in, soft and silver, casting long shadows across the floor. The snow outside glittered like powdered diamonds.

Cedric groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "Too bright."

"I'll sneak out the window," I murmured, brushing hair from my face, ignoring his muffled protest. "Quieter that way."

But he shook his head, eyes still hazy with sleep as he pushed himself upright. "Come on. We'll go through the front. Everyone's still asleep."

We dressed quietly, pulling on scarves and mittens, boots thudding softly on the wooden floor. He wrapped his scarf around me, twice, like he was shielding me from the world. Then he tugged my hat too far down on my head, making me giggle and swat at him.

I wanted to kiss him again right there. Instead, I smiled like an idiot.

The village was quiet, blanketed in snow, the world still tucked into sleep. We walked hand-in-hand past hedgerows heavy with frost and windows glowing with warm light, our breath curling in the cold air between us.

His cheeks were pink from the cold, his fingers laced tightly with mine.

And still, I could feel him under my skin—buzzing, electric. Part of me wanted to drag him into the nearest snowbank and climb on top of him. 

But then, right before the Burrow came into view, he stopped walking. Turned to me. Wrapped his arms around me tight, burying his nose in my hair— holding me like he couldn't stand the idea of letting go.

"I don't want to leave you," he murmured.

"You'll see me tonight," I whispered back.

I kissed him. Just once, soft and sure, not dragging it out. We didn't need to.  We knew we'd do this all over again later— after dinner, after the house had gone quiet, after the lights dimmed and footsteps faded upstairs.

That was enough.

I gave his hand one last squeeze, then turned toward the path, boots crunching through fresh snow. The cold bit at my cheeks, but I barely felt it. The warmth of him still lingered in my fingertips.

And just like that, I was gone— moving through the still-sleeping village, the sky just beginning to lighten behind the trees. I snuck back into the Burrow just before the first creaks of footsteps sounded overhead. Upstairs, I changed swiftly into my pajamas and slipped under the covers, heart still racing with an hour to spare before the whole house erupted into Christmas.

Soon, the house began to wake. Groggy footsteps echoed in the hallway, doors creaked open, and muffled yawns filled the air. Everyone emerged with sleep-heavy eyes, most of them were still hungover from the night before— faces puffy, voices hoarse, movements a little too careful. But despite the dull throb behind their eyes, they were still eager, still smiling, already drifting toward the living room in search of warmth and presents.

No one suspected a thing.

We gathered in the living room, the scent of cinnamon and pine filling the air. The fire crackled warmly, casting a golden glow over the room as we settled in to exchange gifts.

Harry unwrapped a single unmatched sock from the Dursleys— creased, questionably clean, and still the reigning champion of worst holiday gift in recorded history. I handed him a book on British and Irish Quidditch teams, watching his face light up.

Ron unwrapped a bulging bag of Dungbombs from Hermione, which made him beam despite pretending he was too old for them. But it was the small leather-bound journal I gave him, with a golden Chudley Cannons crest embossed on the front and his initials etched in the corner, that he turned over in his hands like there wasn't a gift more perfect. 

Mrs. Weasley's jumpers were as dependable as ever. Mine was the softest shade of blue. Harry's was green with a dragon stitched across the front, no doubt Charlie's doing.

Fred and George, still high on the chaos of their latest success, gifted each of us our own individually wrapped Canary Creams— complete with a glittery tag that read "Eat Me (Coward)." 

I set mine aside carefully and made a private vow to never eat so much as a crisp from either of them again.

Ginny gifted me the lipstick I'd been eyeing for weeks in Hogsmeade— rose petal pink, moody, perfect. I gave her a cropped jumper she'd tried on once at Gladrags and hadn't stopped talking about since. We both squealed when we unwrapped each other's gifts.

Hermione handed me a neatly wrapped stack of notebooks, my name engraved in gold on the covers. "For your writing," she said, a little shyly. On the first page of one, in her tiny, perfect handwriting, she'd already jotted down the full ingredient list and method for the contraceptive potion she brewed me. "In case of an emergency," she mouthed across the room.

I was honestly just relieved my mom managed to send something on time. Her package was a full box— overflowing with wrapped CDs, a couple pieces of new clothes, a tiny jar of my favorite lip balm, and a letter that made my throat tighten as I read it. She told me she loved me. That she was proud of me. That she hoped I was smiling more than I was stressing.

And buried underneath all of it, tucked neatly in the corner like a final wink, was a year's worth of birth control.

God, I loved her.

After the gifts were opened and the room began to settle, I curled up cross-legged in front of the fire, cocoa warming my hands, snow still falling in soft sheets outside the window. The living room glowed— golden with firelight, buzzing with sleepy laughter and rustling wrapping paper.

Ginny twirled once in front of the window, running her hands over the crimson top I'd gotten her from Hogsmeade, grinning like she couldn't believe how good it looked.

George crouched by the fire, trying to sneak another Canary Cream into Harry's hands like it was a dare. Harry swatted him away with a muttered, "Absolutely not," eyes still glued to his new book, clearly not in the mood to cough up feathers again.

Hermione was already curled up in the armchair, half-wrapped in a throw blanket, fully engrossed in the book I'd given her for Christmas— 'Witches Who Changed the World', a rare out-of-print biography collection I found in an antique shop near Diagon Alley. She was already a few chapters in, lips pursed, brow furrowed in that way she got when she was absorbing every word.

And through it all, I felt him.

The weight of his touch still pressed into my skin. His scent clinging to the collar of the sweater I'd stolen without shame. His name echoing soft and steady in my head, like a quiet song I didn't want to stop humming.

I felt whole in a way I hadn't dared to hope for. 

"Merry Christmas, guys," I said softly, looking around at the chaos. At my people— my sharp, messy, brilliant little family.

"Merry Christmas," they murmured back through mouthfuls of cocoa and marshmallow, half-asleep, half-glowing.

We played cards. Unwrapped joke sweets. Someone spilled cocoa on the rug and no one cared. We laughed until our ribs ached, so loud and genuine it made the walls feel warm.  It was joy. Simple, messy, fleeting joy. The kind you didn't even know you were missing until you had it.

It had been the best Christmas I'd ever had.

And maybe that was the magic. Not spells. Not charms.

But being far from home and not feeling it.

Being with people who made you feel like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

And hoping there'd be a hundred more days just like this one.

♱ 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 ♱

thank you so much for signing up! if you’d like to be added or removed, feel free to shoot me a message or visit the taglist form 💌

@yuveyoo, @milkpeanuts476, @iwannabeapinkaesthetic, @eviaroy, @josephineable

[my-mind-mansion]

Alastor sleep aid/cuddles

My FIRST post!!

As you tossed and turned restlessly in your bed, you lost track of how long you’ve attempted to fall asleep. You rolled over to check the time. 4 am. Your mind was racing and your eyes were wide open. That embarrassing thing you did 5 years ago. That comeback you should’ve used in that argument. That thing your mother said when you were 12 that stuck with you forever. You groaned in frustration and sat up. What was the point of even trying to sleep now? I guess I can pull another all nighter.

As you attempted to get out of bed, you suddenly felt a familiar presence. “Alastor?” You asked aloud. You knew he was there; probably hiding in your closet or a dark corner. “Come out.” You chuckled. He clicked your lamp on so you could see him smiling at you. “Why are you still awake, my dear?” He asked softly.

You sighed and fell back onto your bed. “I couldn’t sleep.. AGAIN.” You expressed your frustration. He gave a little laugh before sitting down on the bed next to you. “Well, I bet I could help you fall asleep.” He said boldly, his usual confidence apparent. You laughed at him. “Appreciate the offer, but I don’t think so.” You said as you rolled over, facing the wall.

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?” As he reached for the radio on your nightstand, you rolled your eyes. He turned it down to the quietest it could go while still being heard. “I always find that my radio helps me fall asleep.” He said as the static of the old song played in the background. “Well I’m not you, and I won’t be able to sleep.” You scoffed as you rolled back over to face him. “We’ll just see about that.” His smile grew as he slid off his shoes.

You observed him quietly. What was he doing? He carefully placed his monocle on your nightstand. You’d never seen him without his old-timey accessory. Your eyes widened as he laid down next to you in bed. Is he gonna sleep in my room tonight??

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You gasped. He’s being an asshole. He’s gotta be… but you didn’t care. You needed the comfort, and Alastor’s presence was most-definitely comforting if you were on his good side.

Your eyelids already started becoming heavy as he pulled the blanket over the both of you. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on his chest. “Already getting comfortable I see.” He remarks, probably wearing a shit-eating grin. You didn’t care. You didn’t care that he was only doing this to prove you wrong. You were exhausted.

You melted in his arms. A man with his charisma was enough to break down all your walls. Deeeep breath. Peaceful sigh. Why were you having trouble sleeping again? You couldn’t remember. You rubbed your two feet together as your body became heavy. He was warm and his arms were wrapped around you like a python. The Radio Demon’s embrace was heavenly, as ironic as it sounded. It was the truth.

Since he considered you a friend, he made sure you felt safe and protected with him. He held you like you were something precious, like you were as fragile as a porcelain doll. He held you like you were important to him.

“Do you like having your hair played with?” He asked softly. “Mhm..” you cooed. He ran his clawed fingers through your hair and gently scratched your scalp. Heavenly. He hummed along to the song that was playing on the radio. You could feel the gentle vibration of his voice as your head was still resting on his chest.

The feeling of someone holding you was comforting, especially since Alastor has never acted like this with you before. You had to admit that your eyelids were getting too heavy to keep open. You sighed in annoyance. “You were right.” You admitted, half-lidded. “Oh? Was I now?” You could feel his ego spike as he spoke. You buried your face in his chest and groaned in irritation. He laughed. “Hey, don’t be like that. I’ll still make sure you rest well tonight.” He said softly as he rubbed your back.

You could feel your face getting hot. It was really nice receiving all of this attention, especially from him. You hugged him tighter and nuzzled your face into his bowtie. “Thank you.” You said before finally closing your eyes. You could still hear the radio. “Goodnight, sweetheart!” He clicked the lamp off. All was cozy and dark. The last thing you heard before falling asleep was Alastor’s warm humming.

[jandthecrow]

The Snake

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

SUMMARY: Morning after cracking a few open with the boys you wake up not alone in bed

CW: fluff, in love Simon (unbeknownst to reader), fem!reader, caring!simonriley, gentle!simonriley, smut?, nakedness

Sweet dreams of the library fade as you wake, the soft crinkling of books and the smell of worn leather leaving your senses. Light spills from the curtains, a dark grey heavy cloth. The sheets around you are warm, dark maroon and soft worn down cotton.

It takes you a moment to stir, your head pounding and body aching, you don’t even remember much of last night. Only cracking a few open with the team, laughing at Gaz’s jokes while Soap ticked off Ghost. Price silently watching the encounters while you all drank after a successful mission. After that it’s all a blur of laughter and pure happiness then nothing.

You roll over in your sheets, body heavy and tired. A hangover sitting in the back of your skull, deep throbbing pain but nothing some Ibuprofen and a glass of liquid IV can’t fix. You catch sight of someone’s back as you roll over, wide and muscular, bearing red scratches and light bruises where nails dug into the skin hard. Scars trace down his left shoulder, jagged and unsteady, probably from some sort of combat knife.

Racking your brain of last night, trying to figure out who is in your bed? Who had the pleasure of fucking you and staying the full night? Instead of being kicked out about a hour after, like you usually did with one night stands.

With a sigh you sit up and put your legs over the side of your bed, pain shoots up your core. A sure sign you had a good time last night, hickeys cover your lower stomach and inner thighs. You don’t look for more, not wanting to try and rack your brain for something you couldn’t remember happening.

As you massage your stiff shoulders, you feel the sheets shift and mattress dip slightly. *The mysterious guest must be waking.* you think to yourself. You look back and furrow your eyebrows a little thinking your mind must be playing tricks on you, cause there is no way Simon Riley is in bed with you… naked and looking just as confused as you are as you stare at each other.

A beat of silence passes, two, three, five, a minute. You just stare at each other shocked and confused and speechless. His chest is worse this his back, deep purple hickeys line his collarbones, a bite mark on his shoulder that is red and raised but the skin not broken. Hickeys trail up his neck, smudged lipstick stain his skin from his face to his stomach, as low as you bring yourself to look with his gaze on you.

Simon POV quick switch

He watches you as you watch him, he rubs his mouth and chin, taking note of the hickeys that line your neck and breasts. Light bruises on your hips, your front still turned away as your upper body is turned to look back at him. Simon can’t see any more signs of whatever you guys did last night but it was apparently intense.

He studies you still, taking note of your body. Plush thighs and slight rolls on your stomach, most of your body made of muscle from the intense military training while stubborn fat clings. Your breasts aren’t too small but aren’t too big, average sized you usually think when you see your naked body - perfect in his eyes. Tattoos litter your skin, and unsurprisingly the skeleton snake tattoo he always saw in training when your shirt rode up. The tattoo starts from your right lower thigh and goes up your leg, the head of the python on your stomach only a few inches right from your belly button. He looks back to your neck trying to keep some form of privacy even when you both are as naked as the day you came into this world.

Simon feels a slight sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he realizes that your relationship will no longer be a simple camaraderie anymore. He searches his mind for any memory of last night but only comes up with drinking more than he should’ve at the hangout and little flashes of intense pleasure and moaning from either him or you, he can’t tell.

Simon mentally kicks himself and his eyes wander around your room on base. Deep maroon cotton sheets, and two matching oak side tables next to the bed. Black heavy curtains blocking out the almost blinding morning light. Two dressers against the far wall near the door. The bed on the other side of the room is bare, you have no assigned roommate. Besides that little tells him about you, only a pair of shark slippers and a bathrobe hanging on your open bathroom door. It has a little dinosaur stitched into it over the heart. A dinosaur he doesn’t recognize like you would a t-Rex or stegosaurus. Meaning you probably have a great interest in paleontology.

Clothes are strewn over the floor, his and your own. His clothes are nearest the door while yours are only near the bed, you were more eager than him or he was more passionate. Simon runs his hand through his hair and clears his throat. “Well good morning.” He mumbles more to himself than you.

POV switches back

As he speaks you feel a wave of calm and slight annoyance, something that isn’t familiar to you. You’re known for your discipline and honesty but not your lack of self control that his body clearly shows. You nod back silently turning your back to him again and continuing to massage your shoulders. You feel his eyes on you.

“You remember last night?” Simon asks slowly and quietly.

“No, you?” You mumble as you work a kink out of your left shoulder

“Nothing, only a lot of drinking.”

It’s silent after that, the sound of fabric and the clink of his belt fill the room as he gets dressed. He sits back down as he slides his socks and boots on, tying them up tightly.

After a few beats of silence he gets up heading to the door and slips out of the room. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. A twinge of annoyance and loneliness bleeds through your heart. You push it away standing up and collecting your clothes. Your clothes are more neat than his, seemingly having fallen off the bed instead of being thrown off. Tossing them in the dirty clothes bin you head to shower.

Turning on the light of the bathroom you barely look at your reflection as you start the shower turning the water to hot. You step in feeling the comforting warmth of the water pelting your skin. Pouring shampoo in your hands, you lather it up until it bubbles and massage it into your scalp.

A few minutes into your shower routine, your bedroom door opens and you startle. Your bathroom door is left wide open, leaving whoever just entered your room the option to enter. Heavy boots sound against your bedroom floor, and the smell of food and coffee fill your senses. The heavy boots walk over to the open bathroom door and you peek out behind the curtain, it’s Simon. He knocks on the door looking at something in your room not noticing you already see him. “Lass, got us some food.”

You pull your head back into the shower, and sigh finishing scrubbing your arms. “Ok” is all you say before he walks away and sits somewhere in your room. You turn the water off and towel dry, you wrap it around yourself and close the bathroom door for privacy.

A few minutes later you leave the bathroom wearing a new set of clothes. A black long sleeved shirt and black sweatpants, a dinosaur stitched in over the heart - a different one than your robe. The sweatpants have a matching dinosaur stitched in over the left hip, you wear black ankle socks and your shark slippers. Glancing around your room you notice he’s changed your bed sheets into black ones. The maroon sheets sit in the dirty bin, Simon has the curtains open as he sits on the ground in clean clothes. He doesn’t glance up as you walk over and sit across from him, he pushes a to-go box in front of you as he eats out of his.

The food is good as you both eat in silence, not looking at each other. Not speaking or moving, the atmosphere is relaxed but a little awkward. You clear your throat “Thanks”.

Simon nods and you feel the need to fill the silence. “Thought you weren’t gonna come back, surprised me when you came back with breakfast” you say as you bite into a pancake.

“Why’d ya think that?” Simon mumbles.

You pause for a moment thinking if he’s really that dense. “Ya left without saying anything, so I figured- ya know.”

He nods and glances up. “Woulda been rude to leave a lady hungry after sleeping with ‘er.”

“Yeah I guess. Speaking of: you can forget about it, a drunken mistake happens every once a while.” You say finishing up your pancakes.

When you say that he just looks at you for a moment, his face twisting slightly in an emotion you don’t recognize on him, due to the lack of never seeing his face before this. “What if I did’n want’a forget this?”

That makes you pause and look back up at him from your food. He just stares back silently waiting for your response.

“Guess I can’t tell a grown man what to do” you say back still looking at him a bit confused at his seemingly sudden interest in you.

But in all reality if you would’ve paid more attention to your surroundings, you would’ve noticed that he’s always been interested in you. Watching out for you on missions and making sure you take care of yourself. Making sure to get you breakfast on mornings you’re too busy to eat. You seem to lack the awareness when someone is interested in you. One of the qualities that make him feel warm and fuzzy when he thinks of you.

He holds his hand out for yours, you place yours in his hesitantly, he brings it to his mouth. Giving each of your knuckles a kiss.

“Guess you’re stuck with me lass.”

[coredumpproject]

It's worse than that. It's not that we just didn't teach them. I'm gen X and no one taught me.

The real issue is the locked-out nature of tablets and phones.

Kid's devices are miserable to do any work on. Files just save wherever, and every file dialog shows a different list, trying to guess what you want. The administration of the machine is automatic and remote.

I raised one of these GenZ kids, and it was hard.

Why make your own website, when no one you know, will be able to see it? The school devices blocked, by default, any site it didn't approve of, and most of her friends had only the school's Chromebook as a computer.

Also, nothing works! Trying to walk her through simple programming exercises was a game of constantly shifting versions and broken links. Even basic tasks require enough fiddling that kids lose interest before even a professional gets there.

I got my kid programming in scratch, doing Python and even some Unity/VR, but it was a struggle. Every time we sat down to do something 'fun', it would be an excersize in googling to figure out why the new version of Arduino doesn't like the boards we got, or whatever. The only other option was to install everything up front, skipping the important part of the experience.

Also, they just can't be impressed. When I showed AI to my kid, they responded,'Didn't we already have that?'.

We killed the open Internet, we locked them out of their devices, and we turned programming into shop class, with mostly broken tools.

Most of them have never seen a 'real' computer, and if we gave them one, we'd be sure to lock it down so they can't open directories without talking to an adult.

Telling young zoomers to "just switch to linux" is nuts some of these ipad kids have never even heard of a cmd.exe or BIOS you're throwing them to the wolves

[tccicomputercoaching]

Top 10 Free Coding Tools for Beginners in 2025

Are you entering the coding world in 2025? At TCCI - Tririd Computer Coaching Institute, we believe that choosing the right tools shall make learning fun, smooth, and successful. Whether it is Python, JavaScript, or C++, these free coding tools stand to help you write, test, and debug code like a pro.

👉 Check out TCCI's beginner programming courses here to start learning the smart way.

Let us now plunge into the free-to-use top 10 coding tools for beginners, and they are simply awesome!

1. Visual Studio Code (VS Code)

VS Code is undoubtedly one of the best code editors in the world out there. Being lightweight, fast, and smartly featured, it offers everything a beginner would appreciate-thousands of extensions for any language, a simple user interface, and Git integration out of the box.

2. Replit

Do you want a code-sharing platform that lets you code online without having to install anything? Being browser-based, Replit lets you write and run code in more than 50 languages. It is great for a quick run-through or learning while on the move.

3. GitHub

Not a place for merely sharing code-it is truly a powerful Git-based version control system. Beginners can keep track of their projects, work with others, and browse through open sources.

4. CodePen

If you're learning HTML, CSS, or JavaScript, then CodePen is an amazing fishing pond for you. Build, test, and share your frontend projects from anywhere in the browser.

5. Scratch

Scratch, developed by MIT, is more appropriate for kids and complete novices. The visual blocks guide in learning programming logic without actually having to write code.

6. W3Schools Online Editor

W3Schools Try-It Editor is great for learning Web development-the editor lets you try out code in HTML, CSS, and JavaScript examples all in your browser.

7. Thonny

An easy-to-use IDE built only for Python, Thonny makes it simple to view how Python code actually runs. It comes with a debugger and a simplistic UI.

8. Codecademy (Free)

Codecademy offers a free version, and users can access interactive lessons on programming. It's an excellent platform for structured learning paths for multiple languages.

Also Read: What Is the Future of Coding Jobs in India?

9. JSFiddle

JSFiddle is an online editor for web languages that is fast and lightweight. JSFiddle lets developers quickly test and share small pieces of code in HTML, CSS, and JavaScript.

10. Notepad++

For newbies needing something very simple, Notepad++ is a great lightweight code editor on Windows. It has syntax highlighting support for many languages and ease of use.

Final Thoughts

At TCCI - Tririd Computer Coaching Institute, we always recommend using the right tools to make learning enjoyable and fruitful. These top 10 free coding tools of 2025 will be the best companions to your programming journey. So explore and experiment, and have fun coding without barriers!

At TCCI, we don't just teach computers — we build careers. Join us and take the first step toward a brighter future.

Location: Bopal & Iskcon-Ambli in Ahmedabad, Gujarat

Call now on +91 9825618292

Visit Our Website: http://tccicomputercoaching.com/

Note: This Post was originally published on https://tccicomputercoaching.wordpress.com/2025/05/07/top-10-free-coding-tools-for-beginners-in-2025/  and is shared here for educational purposes.

[shalu620]

Python for Beginners in 2025: Key Benefits and Career Opportunities

Python continues to be a top choice for beginners entering the world of programming in 2025. Its simplicity, versatility, and widespread use across industries make it a practical and rewarding language to learn. Considering the kind support of Python Course in Chennai Whatever your level of experience or reason for switching from another programming language, learning Python gets much more fun.

Whether you want to build websites, analyze data, or explore artificial intelligence, Python is a strong foundation to start with. Here’s why Python remains a smart investment for your future in tech.

Simple and Beginner-Friendly Python’s syntax is clean, readable, and closely resembles everyday English, which helps beginners understand programming logic without getting overwhelmed. You can start writing useful code quickly, even with little to no prior experience, making it ideal for those new to coding.

Versatile Applications One of Python’s standout features is its versatility. It’s used in many areas, including web development, data science, machine learning, automation, game development, and even cybersecurity. This means that by learning one language, you open doors to a variety of career paths and projects.

High Demand in the Job Market Python remains one of the most sought-after skills in the tech job market. Employers look for Python developers across startups, established tech companies, and industries such as finance, healthcare, and retail. With Python on your resume, you increase your chances of landing interviews and high-paying job opportunities. With the aid of Best Online Training & Placement Programs, which offer comprehensive training and job placement support to anyone looking to develop their talents, it’s easier to learn this tool and advance your career.

Strong Community and Learning Resources Python has a huge and active global community. Beginners can benefit from forums, tutorials, documentation, and peer support. If you get stuck or want to try something new, there’s always help available. The abundance of resources makes self-learning more accessible and less intimidating.

Excellent for Career Growth Once you learn the basics, Python lets you grow into more advanced areas. You can explore frameworks like Django and Flask for web development, or dive into libraries like Pandas, NumPy, and TensorFlow for data and AI projects. This scalability helps you evolve as a developer and specialize in high-growth fields.

Future-Proof Skill As technology trends evolve, Python keeps adapting. It’s already a leader in AI and data science, and it's increasingly used in emerging fields like automation, IoT, and blockchain. Learning Python means you’re investing in a skill that will remain valuable for years to come.

Conclusion In 2025, Python is still one of the best programming languages for beginners. It’s easy to learn, highly versatile, and opens up a world of career possibilities. Whether you’re starting from scratch or switching careers, learning Python can be your first step toward a successful future in the tech industry.

[pandeypankaj]

Where is the best place to practice Python and data science?

There are many really cool places to practice Python and data science. Here are a few of them:

Online platforms:

Kaggle: Kaggle is an online platform that holds competitions in the area of Data Science. In fact, it is an excellent platform to practice and learn much from other Data Scientists.

HackerRank: HackerRank provides coding challenges and competitions in different programming languages, including Python. Problems are provided to help users enhance their skills in problem-solving and coding.

Codewars: Well, Codewars is another site that holds coding challenges in different languages. It's good for training your skills and learning new concepts.

Lejhro Bootcamp: Lejhro Bootcamp offers interactive courses on data science. It is also a great resource to learn Python and data science from scratch.

Open-source projects

Scikit-learn: Scikit-learn is a very popular library for machine learning in Python. It's also an excellent place to practice your data science skills or learn new algorithms.

TensorFlow: A deep learning framework for Python, extremely well-known in its domain. It's really cool to study deep learning and train your data science skills. 

Pandas: Another very famous library used for data analysis in Python. It's pretty cool to study data manipulation and analysis. 

Personal projects: Choose a dataset Find a dataset that interests you, and begin to explore it.

Answer questions: Formulate questions about this dataset and try to answer them using Python and data science techniques.

Visualize the data: Visualizations are incredibly useful in understanding the data.

Build a model: Build a machine learning model that is used to predict something about the dataset.

Local meetups and conferences—

Attend local meetups and conferences. This is a great way to network with other data scientists about new techniques.

Remember, the best place for practicing Python and data science is one where you feel comfortable and motivated. More important than this will be keeping at it.

[dreydreydreydrey]

Howdy!

Disclaimer, this is an 18+ blog, if you're a minor get the fuck out, respectfully yet please don't interact with adult blogs. I'm not your parent, yet think with your mind and not your dick/clit. That can end up in either you being manipulated by someone, or someone just feeling disgusted by inappropriatly interacting with a minor unbeknowst to them. I will block minors and suspicious accounts without hesitation.

For the rest my dm's and asks are open :)). Yet do some unconsensual or disgusting things. Or demand me to dominate you or any other of those things and you'll get blocked too :)).

Me as a person:

My name's Drey, 21yo, male, probably have C-PTSD, on the asexual/demisexual spectrum or just haven't figured out what arouses me? Still searching on that front tho. I study psychology, people consider me as a smartass, old soul, childish, a genius, unpredictable and multiple people have already told me that I'm somehow one of the most interesting people they know of? That makes me hella uncomfortable tho. Idolisation gives me the ickies, although maybe I should be more confident on that front? Anyway I have an interest in nerdy things:

-music (we can make a spotify blend if you ask :)): The Strokes, Jpegmafia, Daft Punk, King Krule, Radiohead, Jeff Buckley... and that doesn't even scratch the surface

-classical literature (I should do this more tho): Dostoevsky, trying to get into Murakami, Kafka...

-poetry: Edgar Allen Poe, Rumi, Mary Oliver, Rudyard Kipling...

-philosophy: Kant, Nietzche, Spinoza,...

-cinematography: Wes Anderson, Andrej Tarkovsky, Stanley Kubrick, Quentin Tarantino, ...

-photography

-gym (or wel just started again)

-urbex -A loooot of scientific unneeded shit: -I know how to find Exo-planets with Python

-I may or may not have made some explosive substances and rockets (sugar rocket on yt)

-I read complex psychological, philosophical, engineering, astrophysical, biological, historical,... literature for... wel... fun

-... (just ask ;))

Me in the BDSM/Kink community:

Finally last but certainly not least (since my whole blog will probably be about this) destroying pretty little things untill theres nothing left except for my little dumb cumdumpster blissfully laying in a puddle of her own grool, spit, squirt, tears and A LOOOT some of my cum... bruised, covered in bitemarks, ropeburns,... etc you know the usual stuff like, primarily for me:

-impactplay

-shibari (or any other form of bondage)

-primal play

-switching (Yet idk about my sub side still tbh...) I've been in BDSM communities for some time now. Been to my fair share of dungeons (not the dnd kind...), been lurking in some online communities in the past and decided to make something out of my "passions"... Kinda all started when my friends started to get laid, yet it confused me why I wasn't able to enjoy it? For some reason just hooking up with a girl didn't interest me at all. Even after doing it a couple of times it felt as if I would've been better of just jerking off. I don't get aroused by physical appearances (although they still are important, yet clearly not enough). I get aroused by the mind and soul that are attached to it? (and maybe tears, tears make me hard...)

[jingerhead]

Bro bro can you imagine the foxes showing Neil Monty Python The Holy Grail and Neil going, “Tis but a scratch” every time he gets hurt or “just a flesh wound”. Like he would so copy the black knight

It's the only thing he takes in from the movie JSJSJS oh I had to write this one, I hope you enjoy this little drabble lovely! Thanks so much!

Send me a prompt or something :)

~*~

Neil wasn't into movies. He always figured he could find a better way to spend two hours than sitting on a couch watching a fake story, but the foxes tended to use movie nights as a way to hang out easily, so he often found himself coerced into sitting on the couch bored out of his mind. When he admitted he didn't watch movies the upperclassmen tried showing him Disney classics and other big hit series, and while they loved those ones, Neil couldn't get himself interested. He couldn't even lie about it.

Still, the others seemed determined to find something that Neil would like, declaring another movie night and all staying tight-lipped about which one it was going to be. Neil showed up at Matt's dorm, this time with Andrew in tow, and they all settled down with giant bowls of popcorn and drinks. Neil decided to leave his usual spot in the corner open for Andrew and settled on the floor instead, grabbing a pillow to sit on for the next two hours.

"I'm not even going to ask if you've seen this one," Nicky said as he fiddled with the blu-ray player. "But just so you know: we're watching Monty Python and The Holy Grail."

"Okay," Neil said, glancing back at Andrew before leaning against his legs.

"It's so funny," Nicky continued as he sat back down, the screen beginning to play the movie. "The coconuts, the witch trial, the knights who say ni..."

"The black knight," Matt added.

"The killer bunny," Dan said.

"The holy hand - "

"You're giving away the movie," Neil interrupted. If there was anything worse than having to sit through a long movie, it was everyone else having a conversation while the movie was playing. What was the point of watching it, then?

As usual, the movie was fine. Just fine. The others were laughing at certain parts and the movie was clearly meant to be humorous, but it was...well, it was a movie. Most of the time Neil spent thinking about all the other things he could be doing as King Arthur led another one of his knights to death. He kept note of the parts the others had mentioned incase they asked him questions later, but other than that, he ran through exy drills in his head and enjoyed leaning against Andrew's legs.

"So!" Nicky said when the movie ended, and as usual, everyone turned to face Neil. "How was it?"

"It was a movie," Neil replied, like he usually did. "It was funny," he decided to add, hoping that would be enough to satisfy them for now.

It seemed to work, because he was able to leave the dorm earlier than usual - or maybe that was because Andrew led him back to theirs and nobody wanted to get in the way - and even had enough time to watch a match before he went to sleep that night. Like the rest of the movies the upperclassmen had gotten him to watch, he couldn't completely forget it, but after two days nobody asked him his opinion anymore. Things were as they always were.

Until a week later, when the Foxes had a game. It had been going in the Foxes favor so far, which is probably why the other team started to play a bit dirty. At one point Neil was hit hard enough to make him fall over, and in a last minute attempt to prevent that he tripped over his own feet, right ankle rolling painfully as he went down. That pain didn't go away, getting worse by the second, enough that Neil knew he wouldn't be able to get up and run anytime soon. A brief fight between players was broken up by the refs and Neil found himself surrounded by his teammates quickly.

There was a flurry of questions Neil could barely keep up with when he was doing his best to keep from wincing as he moved his right leg, trying to look down and assess the damage. Someone gagged and said, "Oh God, I can see it swelling," but it could've been worse. It probably wasn't broken, fractured at the very worst, just enough to take Neil out of the rest of the game. It frustrated him, and the concern from his teammates only amplified that frustration, and they wouldn't stop asking him if he was okay.

'I'm fine' would've gotten him disappointed looks. So instead, without thinking, Neil said under his breath, "Tis but a scratch."

The others went quiet immediately. "Was that a joke?" Matt asked, his lips lifting in a smile before falling neutral again, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or not.

"Oh no, better check for a head injury too," Allison said through her own laughter. Soon just about everyone else laughed along with her, and the air became more relaxed.

After a few seconds Neil was hauled to his feet, allowed to lean heavily on Andrew who walked him towards the sidelines. Neil could limp, so he figured the damage couldn't be as bad as he thought, but he appreciated the help anyway. Andrew stuck around as Abby helped Neil take off his shoe and sock, putting ice on it for now as she dug for more supplies to wrap it with.

"Just a flesh wound," Neil said to Andrew. He was almost surprised to see a bit of amusement flash through Andrew's eyes. Neil wondered if he liked that one movie.

"You would lose an arm and say that," Andrew said.

"Probably not," Neil grumbled, hissing when Abby started to wrap his ankle up. "That was unrealistic."

Andrew didn't say anything else, and he stuck at the sidelines long enough to make sure Neil kept the ice on his ankle before heading back onto the field. The Foxes pulled through that game, loading onto the bus to head back to Palmetto late that night. It was only then that Neil realized he'd made a terrible mistake.

"If you liked that one, we could watch some other Monty Python movies," Nicky was saying. "Who knew Neil would be into comedy?"

[dogmomwrites]

Find the Words!

I'm a little behind on tag games, but I'm tryna get caught up for you guys! Such as @saltysupercomputer, who threw a tag my way over a week ago; thanks for the tag!

I'll pass it on with a soft tag to @jessica-writes22, @writingpotato07, @thetruearchmagos, and @junypr-camus, as well as an open tag, of course! Your words to find will be pet, short, call, near, and soft

My words were guide, incredible, youth, hate, and tone. Recently, I did a readthrough of one of my other wips and I been thinking about it lately, so I'm gonna use that wip rather than either of my mains. All of these snippets were taken from Golden D (it contains no smut, sorry)

Guide They hadn’t told anyone about that. When they’d left Ragnar’s house, they’d seen things that had unnerved them, such as the skull behind the house. The tracks that disappeared into the woods. It wasn’t a trip they wanted to talk about.

A camera crew had gone with them. They’d been in the backseat for the drive out to the address from the invitations, they’d followed them into the woods. And then the storm had kicked up. The snow that seemed to come from nowhere blinded everyone. A cat had found James and Double D, guiding them to Ragnar’s house. The camera crew had seen or heard nothing about a cat.

No one but James and Double D knew what had happened with Ragnar at his house. His strange, strange house. And neither of them felt inclined to tell anyone.

Incredible/incredulous He stifled a sigh. Not much point in complaining when Double D had remembered more than him already. “Do we wait or try calling him?”

“He doesn’t have a phone.”

“I know that. I meant like, you know.”

He raised a brow. “No.”

He sighed. “Like you did at Halloween.”

“What? I didn’t call him.”

“Yeah, you did! Right before he showed up, you were saying something. Holding onto your rune and you said something and then suddenly Ragnar was there. And Magni.”

“You think I called them?” Double D asked, his expression incredulous. “Like...I summoned them?”

It sounded stupid when said aloud.

James glared at him. “It’s not as unbelievable as anything else they do.”

Youth Don’t have this word in this wip, so a fun fact! This was written as a purely for fun, self-indulgent little project a while ago, back when those in my household were still watching WWE. Due to that, throughout the installments that make up this wip, there are several real-life wrestlers featured, but their names have been changed slightly. That’s resulted in some very obvious dumb-funny names such as Brick Loser and Dandy Python

Hate He glared at him. Knowing he was right only made it more irritating. “For what? They don’t even have umbrellas. Or brushes. And all that lightning? No. I don’t want to get zapped to death because a cat told me to paint something.”

When Double D opened the door, Kinnari and Ineko ran outside, heedless of the rain, and called to them. He looked at James. “Grab a bucket.”

“Lightning,” was all James said.

Ylva scratched at her fur and they heard her claws hit something solid. Around the cat’s neck was a pendant. It was the same symbol as the necklaces Ragnar had given them. The cat purred, blinking at James.

To Double D, he said, “I hate you.”

He shrugged, but accepted it.

Tone “What are you doing here?” James asked. He couldn’t help the glare that settled in his eyes as soon as he saw Magni.

“You are to be interviewed, are you not?” Magni asked, his tone amused. “Here I am.”

“They asked you to interview me?”

“Of course not. I just thought it might be more entertaining for me to do it. That and I have another purpose for being here.”

[the-slasher-files]

Hello, can i request 16 and 46 for the prompt thing with a S/o with low self steem with Bo? Please and sorry for my english 🥺🖤

OOOH ANGST!!!! I love it thank you! and honestly your English is perfect :) It’s like these 2 sentences were made for a reader x bo scenario!

So I went a little wild with this that’s why it’s a bit longer (1k plus words) but I really love how it turned out.. also Bo maybe says ‘I love you’ for the first time when he’s sober :o hope you enjoy 🔪💕

MASTERLIST

THE KITCHEN FLOOR 

WORD PROMPT:   “I want you to be happy... even if it’s not with me” AND “Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so...”

Today was just one of those days. 

You felt your mind weigh heavy on everything you did. It badgered you every second of the day, pounding your self-esteem lower and lower with every glance in the mirror and every tug of your baggy clothes. You couldn’t escape the constant hounding and you felt almost uncomfortable sitting in your own skin; as if bugs were crawling on top of you, and as if a fire was set beneath your feet and every moment you struggled to hold yourself away from the burn. 

Bo was at his dingy garage all day and Vincent was in the basement making more creations for the town, and honestly, you never knew where Lester was at any given moment but he defiantly wasn’t in the house. This left you all alone in the reticent home, just your thoughts and heartbeat. Sure you could go down to the basement to have company with Vincent, but he never liked to be disturbed while working, and you could go to the gas station but something was blocking you in the house; your demons wanted you away from the sunlight and easing voices of the people you loved, they wanted you all to themselves today. You let them win today for you didn’t have the energy to fight it. 

As the sun faded behind the native Louisiana wood that surrounded Ambrose the voices became deafening, and Bo’s absence was louder than the voices at times. Skull crushing and heart aching. You didn’t care if it was his yelling or large footsteps creaking on the hardwood, you just needed to hear something else besides the twisted thoughts that were burning, and chugging along like a freight train threatening to run itself off track and kill the engineers. 

Bo will never love you... Bo has never thought you were beautiful... Bo hates you... hates your body... hates your love... Bo just wants some skinny perfect woman... one from his trophy wall... one better than you... one to satisfy his every need better than you ever could...    

Tears stung in your eyes painfully, as you tried to make yourself busy with dinner. Every cut of a vegetable and every stir on the bowl was becoming a burden, you felt the lump in your throat build and tears spilled out in a stream much to your dismay. Anger, frustration, sadness and pain became all too much for your psyche to handle, and in an outburst you pushed everything off the counter, carelessly letting dinner go to waste and everything around you crash and clang against the linoleum.  

Silent sobs sealed your airway and you sank to the floor slowly with your back scraping against the fridge, raking your shaky hands through your hair, tears falling wherever they pleased. Breathing seemed fleeting at this point, you felt as if you were drowning in the ocean, all alone, with sharks circling you, taunting your demise. The sobs began to become more painful and broken wails hung in the humid Louisiana air, the force and strain made it feel like you were vomiting but betrayed the fact that your throat was closing against the laments.  

Suddenly there were heavy footfalls coming towards you, it was clear as day who they were from; the give away was that the gate was a little unbalanced from the apparent stiffness Bo had always carried in his right leg. The steps stopped for a moment as he was taking in your balled up shaking frame under the flickering fluorescents of the old house. Food, utensils, bowls and plates were all scattered around you like war zone debris, and you were the broken soldier in the middle waiting for the end. You knew he was standing there but you didn’t care; he was never one for comforting you, why would he care tonight? 

“Baby... Baby girl wha- shit” Bo stuttered but quickly came to encase you in his muscular arms, groaning as he sat in front of you, his legs caged you, feeling every sob, every painful sharp inhale. “Shhh, shhh, baby it’s ok” he cooed, trying to be soothing though it went against his gruff nature. 

His warm body caging you and the unmistakable smell of gas, cigarettes, and some sort of sweet undertone to his cologne that you just couldn’t place, made your body ease enough to catch a deep breath filling your strained lungs. Opening your swollen eyes with a sting, you were somehow surprised to meet his worried stormy blues, eying you like a hawk; his intensity made you force your eyes closed, jerking your head downwards and off to the side, not wanting him to see you so broken. Stifling your cries by biting your lip hard enough to draw the coppery taste along the soft flesh, letting whine escape.

His rough fingertips gingerly caressed your wet chin, commanding you to look up at him; though Bo’s fingers were gentle, his blanketing dominance coated every movement he made effortlessly. Once again your eyes met; pain and concern clashing.

“Angel, what’s wrong?” He spoke softly letting his cigarette stained breath ghost over you. The question brought a new set of tears that started to swell up, teasing to fall through wet lashes. Bo didn’t force you to speak and he just let you catch your breath and collect your thoughts, studying every part of your face as if it was new to him. Checking for any apparent injuries that might be causing the sobs; at least that he could fix that, but no, these wounds were behind the skin, in the deep tissues of your heart and brain, strangling them.

“Bo... I just-” You weakly strained against the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry” pulling away from him you saw something dangerous flutter behind his eyes; Bo was full of his own troubles and insecurities too, and your choice of words fueled something under the surface of him, some deepness he wasn’t ready to face yet. His touch became a little tighter, slowly and agonizing like a python, squeezing the truth out of you. Your apology was out of your embarrassment for him having to see you like this, but he thought it was for cheating on him or harming someone he loved; ultimately resulting in your slow painful death. 

Before allowing his anger rise you quietly cried “Bo, baby, I’m just having a bad day... the voices in my head just wouldn’t shut up... I-I just broke” He relaxed his grip slightly and pulled you against his chest with a huff, relaxing around you. Bo was no stranger to the way you felt, he had ended up on the exact spot on the kitchen floor many times before, he was probably drunk when it happened, however, but he understood. In a strange way, you mirrored him like broken glass glued together. 

Clutching his coveralls like holding onto a lifeline you stained them with tears, as he moved his hand to cradle your skull closer to him if it were possible, carding his hand through your hair, and his other hand snaked around your waist. His warmth was welcomed but dangerous and painful, loving a broken soul like his hurt all too much; behind every kiss and pleasure, you couldn’t help but wonder if he was better off with someone else, and think about the day he doesn’t come home. Bo’s love was addicting and one day you knew it would be ripped away and you would be left scratching and clawing for any remnants that could be salvaged.   

“I- I want you to be happy... even if it’s not with me,” weeping and shaking you let your insecurities come to the light allowing Bo to see the sick but not unfamiliar thoughts. “I’m fucking broken... I’m nothing you should have, just damaged goods... You can find someone much more beautiful and stronger... I’m not what you want” 

Spilling your guts like a wounded animal begging to live Bo’s hands moved to your shoulders, now pushing you away to look at him with authority oozing off, it made you stop; thinking he was going to lose his temper, and you just waited for the yelling or for him to drag you to the bedroom. The yelling never came. The forceful grip of his large hands never appeared. Just his eyes hardened on you, the blue becoming dark and foreboding, like the black sea that has swallowed a thousand ships.

“Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so...” He begged then allowed his fortified walls to come down for a brief moment worried you would shatter him completely, “You’re my everything baby... Why don’t you see that?” his voice broke at the vulnerability. The knights were down, off their posts and able to rest after 20 some years of being serviced, taught and berated. This was like a searing knife to his core, slipping between the bones and waiting for it to be yanked out and have him bleed out on the linoleum, alone. “I- I love you.” 

Those words, the three words he spoke echoed loud and clear in your brain. The only time he had ever said it was after 5 beers and sloppy sex. Bo was sober tonight and he was painfully aware of it. He said it without flinching or moving his gaze from yours. This is the moment you waited for, after almost 2 full years of rage, blood, tears, love, fights, and pain; it was out there crystal clear. Of course, you had hoped it would be on a scenic hill looking out at the night sky, with your fingers interlaced and shallow breaths matching each other in perfect harmony; not on the cold floor with glass and destruction around you, brokenly clutching one another. However, you were going to take what you could get.    

Tears began to flow again but for a whole different reason, as you cupped his strong square jaw, running your thumb on the long jagged scar he carried with grace. “Bo Sinclair, I love you too.” He crashed his lips against yours, his hands were everywhere on you, he craved you, he needed you as much as he did the oxygen to breathe.

[ask-an-aussie]

Aussie Wildlife FAQ

So here's questions I'm frequently asked as both a wildlife rescuer and carer and keeper at a wildlife sanctuary. Heads up, this is a long post, I've made the questions stick out so you can easily skip through. I've tried to make it as easy to read as possible, and to find what you're after, whilst also providing lots of info.

Poison Vs Venom, what's the difference?

Well, mostly, poison just never stops killing. Like if you poison an insect, then a bird or small mammal eats that insect and they slowly get poisoned by all the poisoned insects they eat, then something eats them, like an owl, and that gets poisoned, then as it rots the poison goes into the environment, etc. Poison never dies. Venom has to be injected, so yes you can be envenomated by a dead animal, if you are stupid. Poison can be inhaled, eaten/drunk or even through touch. So if a cow is poisoned you have to dispose of the body safely, if a cow is bitten by a venomous snake, technically you can still have steak for dinner.

Are all Australian animals out to kill you?

Maybe.

They could want to kill us, I mean as a species we aren't that great. Their ability to kill us however is limited. So are all Aussie animals able to kill you? No. So we have lots of cute small mammals, like antechinus, dunnarts, pygmy possums and the like, that can bite and scratch but are very tiny bois. We even have lots of non-venomous snakes, pythons and blind snakes. Most lizards outside of Goannas can't cause too much damage. Echidna's are completely defensive, have no attack whatsoever. Lots of birds have no interest in you, unless you get near their nest. Freshwater Turtles, Little Penguins and Tawny Frogmouths all main defense is shitting really stinky shit at you. Even our venomous snakes, as long as you seek medical attention you should be fine. Considering we have the top 10 most venomous snakes in the world but average only 1 death a year that's pretty good.

But you still have lots of dangerous animals right?

Yes.

Maybe I should elaborate. Any animal is dangerous, including you, if given the right circumstances. I'm a lovely person but hurt my dog and you better run. Most animals don't want a bar of you. However, if you are a threat to them, or their babies, they will defend themselves. A lot of animals get tagged with the word 'aggressive' which I don't like, aggression is a human emotion that I've never seen in wild animals, or even pets and things. Mostly it's defensive behaviours that people read wrong. For example, the most venomous snake in the world is the Inland Taipan (found in Aust.), however the most dangerous snake in Australia is the Eastern Brown snake, less venomous but also less shy and lives in suburbia. Still, it only ever strikes at people when it feels cornered and needs to get you to back the hell off. And lets be real here, what else can they do? They can't yell and scream, they can't punch or kick. Legit their only option is to bite, and even then mostly it's a closed mouth strike to freak you out into stepping back, and most people bitten by snakes are given a 'dry bite' where no venom is injected, as they want to use it on their food not waste it on us. And 90% of snake bites that happen in Australia are people either trying to catch or kill a snake.

It's fairly simple. Don't threaten animals, don't give them a reason to be dangerous and you are fine. Crocodiles in the water? Don't swim there. Sharks around? Avoid swimming at twilight. Snake? Leave it alone. Nest with baby birds? walk away. You don't randomly show up in some strangers home and expect them not to react, so why do we expect different from animals?

What animals are on the most 'dangerous list' then? Which animals should I really avoid pissing off?

Start with the obvious. Crocodiles, venomous snakes, sharks, some jellyfish, venomous spiders, stone fish, blue ringed octopus, birds of prey (our Wedge Tailed Eagle WILL attack drones, hang-gliders and helicopters if they come into their territory) Then you've got the less obvious. Ants - like meat ants, they will swarm over you then all bite down at once. 1 bite isn't so bad, a whole colony biting you, deadly. Then there's other ants in the Myrmecia family (bull ants and the like) that are just HUGE, and have massive mandables for biting and also can sting you, and are one of the most toxic insects in the world.

Wombats - Can run at 40km/hr, skull so hard it's the only thing a Tassie Devil can't eat, able to bite your calf muscle clean off your leg, oh and they have killer booty. A hard cartilage plate in their lower back that they use to block their burrows, and if threatened can lay down and as the animal tries to get past jam their legs straight and crush the skull of a fox against the roof of their burrow, easily break a dingoes jaw or even destroy your hand.

Kangaroos - yes they box, hahaha wouldn't it be funny to box with a kangaroo. NO. Kangroos box for fun but also to defend themselves and their mob. The Alpha male is the big buff one that looks like he's on steroids. He looks like that for a reason, to defend and protect his mob. DO NOT MESS WITH ANY KANGAROOs, but really don't mess with Big Daddy (for being the alpha he gets all the ladies) Kangaroos are made for this. A punch from a Kangaroo can easily break you ribs. They can lean back on their tail and bring both legs up to kick you, easily tearing you open, which they can do with the claws on their toes, and so basically dissecting you from sternum down. Oh and if they gran you round the neck for a 'Cuddle' DUCK AND RUN. They will hold you in a kind of choke hold and then bring their legs up to kick you and basically snap you in half. Don't even mess with Wallabies man, they may be smaller but can still do damage.

Tassie Devils - are extremely shy and slower than you, like you can actually run away from them. BUT. They have the strongest bite strength compared to size of any animal. The have a PSI of 1200 and males weigh around 8 kg. For perspective, Hyenas have a PSI of 1100 and males weigh around 50kg

Brushtail Possums - They may be cuter than the American Opossums but trust me, they don't want you around. They are solitary so most people have heard them fighting of a night, screeching, shrieking, hissing, growling and making darth vadar noises. Heads up from someone who has had to rescue them from awkward places (fire-places, BBQs, closets) They are stronger than you and they will f*** you up. Even without them meaning to I've gotten injuries from my joey Brushies, they get so keen on their milk when you put it in that they climb your arm and their claws are sharper than cats. Also the sheer strength of them. I'm stronger than I look but if they are clinging on to a tree you are gonna need all your strength to get them off. The can also bite your finger clean off. And I've seen injuries from people who feed wild ones and for some reason have been late to put out the food or something and they've climbed their leg or even jumped on them - stitches were required in a few of those cases (human skin is not thick like tree bark)

What's with Magpies and swooping?

Simple, they have nests/babies and are protecting them. Australia Magpies are very smart and can recognise faces. If they think you are a threat they will try and scare you off. Just like if you're walking along with your toddler and there's a weirdo doing something strange you hold the kid tighter and closer to you and move through faster. But these guys can't just move their nests or their babies. The spot is chosen based on food availability and shelter from sun and rain, but also not being too cold. It's their spot. I've never been swooped by Magpies, other birds yes, but not Magpies. My local birds know me as the lady that cleans and fills the bird bath. Legit the Magpies sing a specific song when it needs filling to call me out to do it. So don't be a threat. If they are swooping in that area, try to avoid it or go through quickly. We used to have Plovers at my school, in the bush at the end of the oval. Never a problem. One day some kids go into the bush and stomp on their nest and eggs. After that they would swoop anyone who came close to there. So the school blocked off that end of the oval. Fair call. Wasn't the birds fault.

Why is everything named so basic?

Oh you mean the snake that's black with a red belly being balled a Red Belly Black Snake, and the tree with all the doodles on it being called a Scribbly Gum? 80% of plants and animals found in Australia are found NO WHERE ELSE. So the early Europeans had a lot of things to name and when they tried naming it themselves they would get it wrong. 2 good examples are: The Death Adder (only considered highly venomous, not deadly, and not an Adder). Also you're only likely to get bitten if you stand on it or try to pick it up. The Australian Magpie, they saw a black and white bird so it must be a magpie. Nope. Actually not in the corvidae family but in the butcherbird family - Artamidae. So their solution was to either take the Aboriginal word, for example, Quoll, Kookaburra, Koala, Quokka, Taipan. Or name it after what it looks like/sounds like/ is found Boobook Owl - makes a sound like booooo-book Squirrel Glider Eastern Water Dragon Grey Headed Flying Fox Flaky Bark Tea Tree Old man Banksia This can cause confusion though as not every brown coloured snake is a brown snake, and not all Eastern brown snakes are brown. Squirrel Gliders aren't related to squirrels. Flying foxes are bats not actual foxes that fly.

What do I do if I find injured wildlife?

Well, depends on the wildlife and where it is. If it's in a dangerous position, like the middle of a highway, don't try anything. First thing, call a wildlife rescue group, there are plenty around and they have trained people who know what to do. A quick google search should show you all you need to know, also the IFAW's Wildlife Rescue App will identify the closest group to you.

If it's a snake, adult wombat or kangaroo, or any other animal that can cause you serious injury, leave it be. The wildlife rescuers you call can give you basic info on how to help but mostly calling them is the main thing.

If it's something smaller, like a young animal or glider or baby bird and you are able to put it into a cardboard box that will be perfect. The 3 main things injured/ill wildlife need are warmth, dark and quiet. You don't need to worry about food or water. The rescuers will organise that. If you give food or water to an animal in shock you can cause more damage.

THE BEST THING IS TO DO NOTHING. I know this sounds stupid. But so many problems can occur from people who don't know what they are doing helping out. You know what they say about good intentions. For example, picking up a Koala like you would pick up a human child (under the armpits, around the chest) you could actually break their ribs. Also so many Koalas end up needing vet care during heat waves because people pour water into their mouths - they can get pneumonia as the water goes in too fast, it is not a natural way for them to drink. You can also get yourself injured or make the animals injuries worse. I have seen Kangaroos with broken legs get up and try to hop away from people. I have seen severe scratches on other people because they tried to pick up an animal.

What diseases can wildlife give me?

Well. I only know about Australian wildlife, and it's very different to other parts of the world. If you get a bad bite or scratch from wildlife you should see your doctor ASAP, get the wound cleaned properly and make sure your tetanus is up to date (same as if a pet gives you a bad bite or scratch).

There aren't that many Zoonosis that are around in Australia that are easy to catch. Mostly you have to be dealing directly with sick wildlife to get them.

The main thing is Australian Bat Lyssavirus. ABL for short. Now our bats can carry it. About 1 in 1000 bats may have it and you HAVE to be bitten or scratched for it to be transmitted to you. If you are bitten or scratched by a bat your chance is 0.1% of getting ABL but it is related to Rabies, so head straight to hospital for treatment. If you don't touch a bat you won't get bitten or scratched and so your chance of getting it is 0. Hendra is the other virus our bats carry, however it has to go through a horse before it mutates enough for humans to get it.

Basically it's only when you get involved with wildlife that your risk of getting a disease from them is higher than VERY unlikely. If you happen to help some wildlife, and you maybe wrap them in a towel or jumper, even if they urinate on it. You can just chuck it in the wash (I usually add a little extra disinfectant) and it will be fine. Treat it the same as if a pet had used it or urinated on it.

What's some Good Wildlife Apps to have?

Well, there's so many out there now hey? Here's some that I've found handy or know people that use. WomSAT EchidnaCSI PlatypusSPOT are all for recording sightings of these animals (wombats/echidnas/platypus) this helps researches track where they are and how they are going which means we can help them more as well. OzAtlas - record a sighting of anything Australian, animal, plant, fungus, insect. FrogID - need to identify a frog? This is the app for you. Use photos or sound recordings, Field Guide to *insert state/territory* Fauna - Have a field guide on you wherever you are without having to carry a book. Seek by inaturalist - Helps you identify any animals, plants, insect, fungus. IFAW Wildlife Rescue - wildlife rescue app (currently for NSW only but soon expanding) will give you advice on what to do and put you into contact with the local wildlife rescue groups.

Besides Cats and Foxes, what other invasive species have you got that cause problems?

First up, any invasive species causes a problem. In Tasmania they have issues with Sugar Gliders, because they are not naturally found there and use up tree hollows that other animals need. Invasive species cause competition for food, water and shelter. They can also bring in diseases that didn't exist in Australia before and that our natives have no defence against (like cats and Toxoplasmosis) Here's a quick list of invasive animal species in Australia. Cats, dogs, foxes, pigs, water buffalo, ferrets rabbits, horses/brumbies, goats, camels, Cane Toad, European Honey Bee, Common Myna bird, deer, donkey, common starling, common pigeon, black rat, brown rat.

There's more, there's reptiles, and weeds and fish but those guys ^ are the main ones that cause problems.

I am an animal lover but unless we get rid of these animals you loose more in the long run. I'm 100% against use of poisons, I prefer having people hunt them to be honest. If you know what you are doing and have the right equipment you can give them a quick, painless death. To give you an idea how bad invasives are:

The introduction of the rabbit is the main cause the Lesser Bilby became extinct.

The introduction of cats and toxoplasmosis is believed to be the main reason Eastern Quolls became extinct on mainland Australia

Rats led directly to the extinction of 5 of Lord Howe Island's bird species

30% of our land snakes and Goannas are at risk as Cane Toads are rapidly spreading and eat their eggs.

The Common Myna Bird is the 2nd greatest threat to Australian native birds (habitat loss being the 1st)

The fox population has been estimated at 72 million and consume around 190 million birds a year

There's an estimated 23 million wild pigs/boars and an estimated 2.6 million goats - all eating whatever they come across.

How can I help Australian Wildlife?

There's the stuff we already know, like reduce/reuse/recycle and don't litter. But there's other things you may not know about.

Turn off lights at night - any lights that you don't need, don't have them on, especially if they are outside. Lots of animals require insects in their diets, particularly moths, which can be distracted by lights. Zoos Victoria have launched educational stuff for this https://youtu.be/ZAcL4FKPtHw

Learn about them - It's not hard, there's multiple ways you can do it. There's books, tv shows, pod casts, you can follow sanctuaries and other people who work with wildlife on social media. Planting flora that's native to your area is great as different plants can attract different animals and it's much lower maintenance, being made for that environment. You can even find cool life-hacks like Lemon Scented Tea-Tree doesn't just smell amazing and feed lots of wildlife, it keeps the mozzies away! There's different kinds of nesting boxes out there specific to different species that you can put up to help 'foster' that species. You can even become friends with your local Magpies! Mine know me as the lady who cleans and fills the bird bath and all I had to do was whistle to them when I was done and now they are really chill around me and I get to watch their antics. Debunk Myths! - In learning about wildlife you can debunk lots of myths like: a mother bird won't take it's chick back if you've touched it (fake news!) or that snakes dislocate their jaw to swallow their prey (that would be soooo painful!)

Put out water - have a bird bath and keep it clean and full. Or if you don't have one or want to get one just put water out on hot days. Summer's getting hotter and hotter and our animals really suffer. So put out a nice pot or container of water. Don't forget to put a rock or a stick in it if it's a slippery surface (like plastic or metal) so that little animals and bugs don't fall in and drown, and keep it out of the sun if it's likely to heat up.

Check roadkill - it's not pleasant but needs to be done. Don't do it if it's a motorway or somewhere dangerous, but if you can PLEASE do. Roadkill sometimes looks dead but isn't and you don't want them laying there suffering. They may have pouch young if they are a marsupial or young nearby that will need care without their parent. And where possible get it off the road. Species like Tasmanian Devils, Goannas and Wedge Tailed Eagles feed on roadkill and can then end up as roadkill themselves. Even if you have to drag it, it's dead and not gonna feel any more pain. 100% of people I have attended a rescue for who have called because they stopped and found a joey or young in a pouch or hiding nearby have not regretted their decision at all. Even if they were late for work, they saved a life and it was worth it.

Avoid using poisons - insecticides, pesticides, snail bait and straight up rat poison. Like mentioned in POISON VS VENOM, it just keeps killing. There are so many other options out there and they aren't hard to find. There's stuff on the internet but also at Bunnings I've found more environmentally sound options that use Tea Tree oils and Eucalyptus instead and work just as well.

Don't feed them! - Most Aussie animals are gluten and lactose intolerant. BREAD IS REALLY BAD! and if not eaten it gets mouldy and causes disease. Putting out bird seed is the number 1 problem when we talk 'feeding wildlife'. WHY?

The 'wild birdseed' that you buy in shops isn't actually for wild birds. JUST LOOK AT IT, you don't see those seeds growing out in the wild. The main seed wild birds eat are Bottle-brush, She-oaks, Banksias, Wattle and Eucalypts. None of those are found in these bags of seed.

Even for seed eaters that seed you buy is too fatty and unbalanced

For those that don't usually eat seed, like Lorikeets, eating the seed destroys the specialised bristles on their tongues that they need to eat their natural food - nectar and pollen.

If you don't keep it clean you will spread diseases, especially psittacosis (beak and feather) for which there is no cure just a slow, drawn out death. You can also catch it and end up in hospital.

You cause an imbalance. Animals breed based on food availability, if you make food available they will breed but there might not be enough space or trees available and you create more competition and also they end up relying on you and if you go on holiday or anything they can die without that food.

You can cause health issues in other animals. Possums love bird seed but it makes them fat, making it harder for them to escape predators.

You will be feeding non-natives. For example, the Common Myna bird cannot survive on wild plants, but if there is a food source around they can. Got rid of Common Mynas in my neighbourhood by convincing my neighbours to stop putting out bird seed.

RATS LOVE BIRD SEED. Specially feral rats. Mice also love bird seed.

You make a predator hot-spot. It won't take long for predators to realised animals they prey on visit your feeding station and they will come. The most common predator I find around bird seed? Snakes. Snakes love rats and mice, rats and mice love bird seed. You do the maths.

If you want to feed them just do some research and plant trees that are food for them.

How many species are endangered?

Sadly, it's almost quicker to list what's NOT endangered in Australia.

That's hard to say as there is different ways they can be endangered. In one area they may be common, but in another they could be disappearing. You can have Endangered lists at different levels; local, state, national and international.

But the most used list is the International Union for Conservation of Nature’s Red List of Threatened Species has evolved to become the world’s most comprehensive information source on the global extinction risk status of animal, fungus and plant species. AKA the IUNC Red List

Here's a bit of a breakdown: EXTINCT 26 mammals 7 birds 4 amphibians CRITICALLY ENDANGERED 7 mammals 8 birds 15 amphibians 13 reptiles ENDANGERED 18 mammals 29 birds 18 amphibians 21 Reptiles VULNERABLE 51 mammals 40 birds 23 amphibians 35 reptiles NEAR THREATENED 43 mammals 37 birds 9 amphibians 21 reptiles

Then there's the "data deficient" category where they really just don't have the info. 10 mammals 11 amphibians 42 reptiles

I will continue to update this post as I think of other things. Feel free to send me any questions you have

[chloelucia13]

To Dream

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

Prompt: After a case takes a turn for the worst, Spencer can’t help the doubt of your future riddling his brain. But when he closes his eyes, everything is okay. If only for a moment. Based off the song “Epiphany” by Taylor Swift

Warnings: angst, a little fluff, mentions of death, language, violence, gore, it’s just a ride y’all (italics are memories, words in bold are dreams)

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: So I’ve gotten sucked into the Criminal Minds fandom, and now it’s time to do what I do best: write sad fan fiction. I hope you all enjoy! My requests are open 24/7 and so is my taglist!

Tags: @sojournmichael​

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

You’ve done this a million times. The case was so simple, so easy to dissect. 

Maybe you got cocky. Maybe you underestimated the unsub. Maybe this was all your fault.

Nausea churned in your stomach as you screeched to a halt in front of the old auto body shop. You knew that you would find a house of horrors as soon as you stepped inside, but the adrenaline in your veins told you to ignore your hesitation and the breakfast from this morning that was crawling up your esophagus.

“I’m going in,” you announced, unbuckling your seatbelt and nearly throwing yourself out of the car. 

“Y/N, wait, you need backup,” Spencer shouted after you as you hurried to the entrance.

You stopped in front of the building, turning to give him a look. “Spence, you heard his message.” 

This man, this murderer, seemed to be infatuated with the media coverage of the case. You caught on to the fact that he was following along closely with the case after he sent a haunting letter to the precinct, detailing where he was and that he would give himself up to the police, as long as his legacy would not be forgotten.

 Turns out, the media coverage wasn’t the only thing he was infatuated with. 

It was realized at the beginning of researching this case that you fit his type to a t, but you never expected that it would become this.

His other request? That you were the only one to capture him and take him into custody.

Spencer opened his mouth to argue but you cut him off. “If anyone goes in there but me, it’ll be a bloodbath,” you reminded him.

He gulped, weighing his options for a moment. “Fine. The rest of the team is on the way. As soon as you’ve got him, radio to me and we’ll send everyone in,” he instructed, worry marring his features.

“Everything’s gonna be fine. I promise, doc.” You gave him a gentle smile before turning on your heel and entering the building, your gun drawn.

The smell of coagulated blood and decomposition hit your nostrils the moment you stepped inside, making your stomach lurch. You bit down on your cheek so harshly the taste of copper tinged your tongue.

“Randy McAllister, this is the FBI,” you announced your presence, edging around the corner into the main part of the garage.

“Ah, Agent Y/L/N, I thought you’d never make it,” a voice hummed to the right of you.You turned your head to see him standing with a gun in his right hand, a woman on her knees in front of him.

“Let her go, Randy. She’s got nothing to do with this.”

He chuckled. “Oh darling, she has everything to do with this. She’s my replacement for you, can’t you tell?” He glided the tip of his gun against her forehead, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

“Then give me her, and you can get what you want.”

“You really thought I was gonna be that easy?” He clicked his tongue. “Take off your vest.”

You scoffed. “I’m not taking off my vest.”

he clenched his jaw, hovering his finger over the trigger. “Take off your vest or I’ll blow her fucking brains out!”

You knew not to question him. He’d done it five times already, so what’s stopping him from doing it again.

You slowly slid your gun into your holster before ripping the velcro apart, pulling your kevlar vest off and setting it on the ground. “There, are you happy?”

He grinned, baring his teeth like a rabid dog, before pushing the girl forward. You bent down and helped her up before directing her to run, waiting until you could no longer hear her footsteps before you drew your gun once more.

“Alright, Randy. I did what you wanted. Now drop your weapon and put your hands above your head.”

His grin slowly fell, letting his gun clatter to the ground before he rose his hands in the air, surrendering. 

You stepped behind him, yanking his hands behind his back and holding them together with one hand while you searched for your cuffs with the other. 

Everything moved so suddenly. 

A sharp crack echoed through the garage as he slammed his head back into yours, shattering the cartilage in your nose. You stumbled back, clutching onto your nose as you tried to regain your balance. 

He grabbed you by your shirt and threw you to the ground, climbing on top of you and wrapping a hand around your throat. You clawed at his hand and kicked with all your might, finally landing one solid blow to his groin. 

He swayed, and you gathered enough strength to roll him over, pinning him to the ground. 

But you didn’t account for his hands.

As you held his shoulders against the concrete, a shot rang out.

Your abdomen felt warm as the rest of your body felt as if it was stuck in a freezer. Slowly, you rolled off of Randy and laid on your back, staring up at the ceiling.

Voices began to echo around you, a muffled sound that mimicked the effect of your head being held underwater. “Agent down, we need a medic!”

Your eyelids fluttered open and closed at a snail-like pace, eyes flickering around the room to try and figure out what was going on.

And then they shot open wide as the burning sensation began, a feeling as if your organs were being shredded apart with red hot knives.

“Y/N, what happened?” 

Your eyes finally focused on Spencer’s face hovering above you, tears in his eyes. “Tis just a flesh wound,” you whispered, your lungs burning.

He glanced between you and the bullet wound in your chest. “Are you quoting Monty Python right now?”

You let out a chuckle, feeling tears begin to sting your eyes. “It’s what I do when I’m panicking. You should know that by now.” Slowly, you reached your hand down to where you felt the pain resonate, eyes growing wide when you felt something wet soak your hand. “Oh my god.”

Tears began streaking down his face, his lip caught in-between his teeth to keep from crying out. 

Without thinking, you reached your hands up to wipe away his tears, a look of terror residing on your face when a dark crimson smeared across his cheeks. “Oh god,” you gasped out, moving to pull your sleeves over your hands and try to wipe away the blood. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” The blood smeared around his cheek, and you felt the room spinning around you. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Just breathe for me. Calm down.”

You nodded, desperately trying to gasp in a solid breath, but to no avail. A sob left your lips, and you felt a rush of blood pour down your sides. “I-I can’t.” You shook your head. “I think... I think I’m bleeding out, doc.”

“No, no, don’t say that. You’re gonna be just fine.” He pulled away from your gaze for a moment to search around. “Where the fuck is the medic?!”

“Spence.”

His eyes fell back onto your face, hazel irises boring into yours as tears dripped down his face. You dedicated his face to memory, trying to remember the way his skin felt under your fingertips, the gentle scratch of his stubble, the way his hair would glide between your fingertips, worried that it you would never be able to experience it again.

“I love you,” you choked out, sniffling. “I love you so much.”

He nodded, a crease forming between his brows as he tried his hardest to contain his sobs. “I love you too. So much.”

He felt as if he died when he watched your eyelids slowly flutter closed, and then stopped moving altogether. He continued applying pressure to your wound, feeling your blood soak through his windbreaker and onto his hands.

Suddenly he was shoved away, and he watched in a daze as a group of medics quickly checked your vitals before lifting you on a stretcher and rushing you out of the building. He pushed himself to his feet and stumbled behind them, clambering into the back of the ambulance.

They attached an oxygen mask with a bag valve, attempting to pump oxygen into your lungs. He watched as your chest rose and fell, wishing it wasn’t being controlled by someone else.

The tips of your hair twirled between his fingers, a dazed look on his face as his eyes tracked each breath you took. Breathe in, gentle rise. Breathe out, gentle droop. He felt the soft rush of air against his skin, making his heart race under your cheek. 

He didn’t dare move, too worried that if he did, you would wake up. It was rare that he would see you in such a peaceful state, so fragile and unguarded. He wouldn’t dare ruin it. He never knew when it would be the last time he could witness it.

“Her vitals are crashing, she’s going into V FIB!” an EMT shouted, startling him back to the present. “Bring me the AED.” He watched as they applied two wired pads to your chest and turned up a dial, signaling before delivering an electric shock. Your body flinched from the shock, only for it to collapse back down and lay flat. 

He felt like he was going to vomit. His hands were clutching onto your free one, unable to tear his eyes away from your ashen face. 

He couldn’t decide if it would be better if you were in a black void, unaware of anything that was going on, or if you could feel and hear every single thing that was occurring. He mostly just hoped that you weren’t scared.

But the only thought on his mind, when they finally arrived to the ER and he watched you get rushed into the OR, was that he couldn’t live without you.

*** “Spence, you can head home. I’ll take over,” Emily instructed as she stepped into the waiting room, nudging his shoulder slightly.

He just shook his head, staring at the glass windows in front of him that peered into the hallways of the hospital. 

“You need to get some rest,” she persisted, sitting down next to him. “Just go lay down for a few hours, I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“I-I can’t just leave. If something happens...” Spencer mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn’t tell if he was being defensive, or if he was trying to desperately hold himself together. 

“She’s gonna be just fine. She’s a fighter.”

He let out a shuddering breath, his eyes falling closed for a moment. “The survival rate after going into V FIB is 50%.”

“Well, 50% seems like a pretty good probability to me.”

“That doesn’t account for the blood loss or oxygen deprivation. She lost over four pints of blood. The body goes into hypovolemic after losing only two pints. Any more than that, and the body will most likely fall into a coma.” 

Now he understood how everyone else felt when he spewed out facts. It was torturous, unwilling to allow him to slip away from the predicament for even a moment.

The image of your body bleeding out on the dirty floor was imprinted in his mind. Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, there was no way that he could ever forget it.

Emily pursed her lips. “But she’ll be alive. She might be banged up, but she isn’t gone. She’s not going anywhere anytime soon.” She squeezed his shoulder. “You know, if Y/N were here right now, she’d be yelling at you to go and take a nap.”

He let out a watery chuckle at that, sniffling slightly. “I can’t leave, Emily. Not until I hear something from the doctors.”

She sighed. “Fine. I’m gonna set a timer on my phone for 20 minutes, and you will sleep until that timer goes off. If you get up any time during that, I’m restarting the timer. Deal?”

“Emily-”

“Spencer, you know better than anybody the effects of sleep deprivation on a person. You’re not going to be any use here if you’re tired.”

He clenched his jaw, already feeling his eyelids begin to droop. “Fine. But only 20 minutes.”

***

He never thought that golden could be a feeling, until he met you. His whole being, his whole soul felt as if it was dripping with the warm yellow hue.

He may have felt golden, but you were golden. You were the sun to him, something that he treasured with his whole being but worried he would be blinded by your beauty, turned into mush from your warmth. He still risked it, staring at you for so long so he could memorize every aspect of you before his sight left him.

Your scent of sunshine and sweet morning dew lingered on everything he owned, and he was addicted to it. He could smell it now, swooning over it.

“Your hair’s getting shaggy, doc.”

Spencer hummed, fluttering his eyes open and seeing that his head was laying in your lap, the two of you perched underneath a tree in the park down the road from your shared apartment.

“Yeah? You want me to cut it?” he teased, shifting slightly to look up at you.

You grinned, ruffling his hair slightly before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Never.”

His eyes flickered over your face, taking in every small detail. “You’re so beautiful.”

You scoffed, gently gliding your finger along his jawline. “I can say the same for you, pretty boy.”

“I’m serious.” He huffed, sitting up and taking your hand in his, staring directly into your eyes for a moment. He mimicked your ministrations, taking his finger and tracing along your collarbone, against the angle of your jawbone, down the slope of your nose, and down the dip of your cupid’s bow. His eyes followed his finger, a small wrinkle forming between his brows. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

A grin settled on your face, gently pulling his fingers from your skin and pressing your lips to his fingertips. “What’s got you being so sappy?”

He let out a chuckle, shaking his head slightly before touching his lips to yours. “I’m so in love with you.”

A pleased sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes searched his. “I’m so in love with you too. Now will you please tell me what’s going on?” You shifted into his lap, entwining your arms around his neck and playing with his hair.

“I...” He gulped, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Spencer.” The corners of your lips crooked into a frown and you rested a hand on his cheek. “What makes you think I’ll ever leave you?”

“Y/N, you’re dying.”

“What do you mean? I’m right here. And I know you’re not a medical doctor, but I know you’re smart enough to know when someone is alive.”

He shook his head, sniffling. “No, you-you’re laying on an operating table right now. This isn’t real. None of this is real.”

“It’s real enough, isn’t it?” 

He shot up with a gasp, immediately burying his head in his hands and letting out a shuddering breath.

“Spence, that was only eleven min-” Emily began.

He ignored her, pushing himself to his feet and propelling himself towards the bathrooms. He stumbled into the bathroom and gripped onto the edge of the sink, sucking in deep breaths until his lungs burned. Bile rose in his throat and he willed himself to keep it down, gaining enough strength to turn on the cold water and splash his face. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he stood up straight in a panic. “Calm down, man, it’s just me,” Derek consoled, holding his hands up. “Are you okay?”

Spencer shook his head fervently, running his hands over his face before pulling them through his hair. “I can’t lose her.”

Derek reached forward, grabbing Spencer’s shoulder and tugging him into a tight hug. ‘’You’re not gonna lose her. She’s strong, and she’s stubborn as all hell. If she’s gonna die, it’s gonna be by her own terms.”

And Spencer sobbed.

***

It had been over four hours, and the entire team still had yet to hear anything from the doctors. The sun had already set, and almost everyone had headed home for the night.

But Spencer was still sat in the waiting room, eyelids drooping lower and lower with each passing moment of silence.

He wanted so badly to sleep, to go back to that peaceful moment in his mind where he could lay with you and forget anything bad ever happened, but he couldn’t let himself. He couldn’t let himself succumb to a fantasy when in reality, you were laying on an operating table with multiple surgeons working to keep you alive. 

“Mr. Reid?”

Spencer rose to his feet at once, all feelings of exhaustion fleeing his body and being replaced with pure adrenaline. “Yes?”

The doctor gave him a curt nod before directing him into the hall. Spencer followed behind him and stood in a nervous silence as he watched her flip through a clipboard.

“She’s alive, and she’s in stable condition,” she explained, looking away from her clipboard.

He felt as if he was floating, a high he never even imagined was possible. 

“But she is in a coma, and probably will remain that way for the next few days.”

And there it was.

“But-But you think she’ll wake up?” Spencer rushed out, shifting from foot to foot.

“Definitely. Her body needs time to rest, but she’ll wake up as soon as she’s ready.” 

Spencer let out a sigh of relief, a small smile residing on his lips. “Thank you, doctor.”

“You’re a lucky man. We almost lost her, but she fought with all she had. She wanted to stay here.”

He knew that her claims were impossible, but there was an inkling in the back of his mind that maybe she was right. So, instead of responding, he just nodded. “Can-” He cleared his throat. “Can I see her?”

The doctor pressed her lips together in thought for a moment before nodding. “Right this way.”

He followed her through the hospital halls, leading him through the winding maze until they stopped in front of room 112. She gestured to the door before retreating, leaving him alone.

All attempts to catch his breath were futile for the moment he stepped through the door, all the air left his lungs. He couldn’t tell if he was staring at your sleeping form in horror or fondness as he inched towards your bedside, settling into the chair next to you.

“You’re alive,” were the only words he could formulate, repeating them like a mantra while he took your hand in his and pressed feather-light kisses to your knuckles. 

 Finally, he let his head rest against the thin blanket on your bed, and his eyes drooped closed. 

Poppies were your favorite flower. They symbolized peace, something neither of you were familiar with due to your jobs.

Spencer never understood how a flower could symbolize something so complex until he opened his eyes.

He was completely, utterly at peace.

You stood in a field of bright red poppies, a white dress cascading around your frame and a megawatt smile on your face.

Sunshine. Golden.

As if out of a scene from a romance movie (one that you probably forced him to watch), he ran through the fields, coming towards you. Once you were within reach, he wrapped both of his arms around your waist and clung onto you like a vice.

A breathless laugh fell from your lips as you returned the hug, letting your arms hook around his neck. “Hi, my love,” you whispered.

He knew none of this was real. He knew that every memory of you was being pulled from his brain all at once and letting him feel a moment of peace.

But he also knew that he wanted to stay here, at least for a little while.

“Hi, my love,” he echoed, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Are you alright?” You pulled away slightly, searching his eyes as you brought one hand to cup his face. “You’re crying.”

“I’m just fine.” He gave you a smile, gently taking your hand from his face and placing your hand in his own. “I’m perfect.”

“Are you sure? Did I do-”

“Y/N,” he interrupted, squeezing your hand gently. “Everything’s fine. Don’t worry.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, letting your shoulders drop. “Sorry, I just... I know you’ve been feeling sad lately. I just want to make sure it isn’t because of me.”

His brows furrowed together, worry lines settling on his forehead. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Because every time you look at me, you cry.”

Those words made his heart drop to his stomach. He knew that this was all in his mind, but it was still your voice. He felt all the hurt, all the guilt. 

“I...” A small sob bubbled in his throat, and he pulled you back into his tight embrace. “I just don’t want to lose you. I’m not ready yet.”

You nodded, gripping onto the fabric of his shirt and holding him as close as you possibly could. “Well, right now, you have me. Is that not enough?”

“But it’s not real. I need the real you.”

“Then you have to wake up, my love.”

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up

“Spencer, wake up.”

His eyes flew open, a hand immediately coming up to rub at them. “What?” he grumbled, holding back a yawn.

“God, I’ve tried waking you up for the past five minutes.”

His eyes flickered up to see a pair of Y/E/C eyes staring back at him.

“You’re awake.”

“I can say the same thing about you, sleepyhead,” you teased, weakly patting his hand. 

“Oh my god. You’re okay.” He pushed himself to his feet and hovered his hands over your face, fearful that if he touched you, you would disappear.

“I’m okay, doc.” Your words were slurred, but that was expected. He still knew what you were saying, and even if he didn’t, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you were awake, that you were alive.

He let out an incredulous laugh as he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “I thought I lost you.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” You hands slowly reached up, letting your fingers graze along his cheek. “Hi, my love.”

“Hi, my love.” He grinned at you. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be awake for a few more days, at least.”

“I guess I just had to wake up. I couldn’t stand being gone from you that long.” You pulled your lower lip between your teeth. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I-If I wasn’t so cocky, none of this would have happened. You all wouldn’t be wondering whether I’m gonna live or not. I wouldn’t be stuck in a hospital bed with a hole in my chest. You... You wouldn’t be crying.” You gestured to the tears on his cheeks as tears began to stream down your own. “I wouldn’t be crying.”

“Y/N,” he sighed, taking your hand in his and pressing his lips to the back of it. “None of this is your fault. Don’t you ever blame yourself for this.”

You nodded with a sniffle, pulling his hand to your lips and reciprocating his actions. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, letting yourselves take in everything that was happening.

“Once you get released from the hospital and you’re healed, do you want to get married?”

Your eyes widened in shock at his words, searching his face to make sure that he was being honest. “Are you proposing?”

He shrugged, feeling his cheeks begin to burn. “I-I mean I don’t have a ring yet but... I think I am.”

“Well, if you think you’re proposing, I think I’ll say yes.”

Both of your cheeks ached from how wide you were smiling, that smile never faltering when he pressed his lips to yours and let them linger. 

“Can we have poppies at our wedding?” you mumbled against his lips.

He chuckled, nodding.

Pure sunshine.

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[peter-pan-hoe]

My anaconda don't

Just some chaoticdumbass!reader antics my brain spat into my mouth this afternoon.

Pairing: Loki X reader

Word count: 1,200+

Warnings: swearing, mentions of mind control?, stabbings, sorry if you have ophidiophobia.

I also apologise in advance to anyone who doesn’t actually want to read this. You’ll have to scroll through the entire thing to get past it. My laptop has been fucking up and so I’ve had to post this from my iPad which is just the mobile app on a bigger screen and it won’t give me the option to put a “keep reading” cut. Sorry.

~~~

After all the nonsense with Thanos and the infinity stones, it had come to light that Loki had been under some kind of psychological manipulation at the hands of Thanos during the attack on New York.

Due to this revelation, while still under scrutiny, Loki had been allowed to spend however much time among the rest of the team as he liked, just like his brother.

Much to Thor’s delight, the team slowly warmed up to Loki’s occasional presence as he could find something in common with almost any member.

His quick wit could match the sass of Stark, A happy discovery that Tony made was that Loki also enjoyed a strong drink.

His combat skills he enjoyed demonstrating in sparring matches with Bucky or Sam.

Bruce he’d managed to bond with after the fall of Asgard and their time together after meeting again on Sakaar.

Natasha he truly respected after she managed to manipulate him into confessing his motives when the Avengers had him in holding briefly in 2012.

Clint was still very stand off-ish, understandable, and while Natasha had assured him there wasn’t a threat there, Loki didn’t try to win over the man, knowing full well the mistrust one would experience toward someone who had invaded their mind.

Being one to appreciate books and learning, Loki got along really well with Steve, and the two could often be found in the kitchen together either sitting in a comfortable silence while each read their respective literature, or sometimes in a discussion about something Steve had most likely grumbled about while reading the newspaper.

You, however, he had the best relationship with.

You’d joined the avengers shortly after Thanos had been defeated and the stones had been returned to their place in the timeline.

A former mercenary who’d been the private security guard to a local underground arms dealer.

When that arms dealer had revealed he’d been holding into some Chitauri weapons he’d gotten his hands on after New York, and that he’d decided to start selling them as he’d finally figured out how all of them worked and how to manufacture his own ammunition, you’d turned on him.

No amount of money or job security would convince you to allow those weapons back out onto the streets.

So you’d gathered up all the weapons before he had a chance to get the word out, apprehended the man yourself and taken it all straight to the Avengers compound where you handed him and the weapons over to Stark.

He admired your honour and obvious skill -given the thug was hog tied at your feet without a scratch on him, suggesting that you managed this quick and easy- and offered you a place among them.

You had accepted after being told there would be free accommodation in the tower to move into at your own leisure.

You and Loki often sparred and competed in the training rooms. You loved watching him delicately twirl his daggers around as if they were a part of him and not the deadly weapons you knew them to be.

He had taught you to do the same after you demonstrated perfect aim when throwing his beautifully weighted daggers at the targets.

You were skilled in hand to hand combat and many different types of weaponry but hadn’t taken the time beforehand for showing off or playing.

You were both witty and could go toe to toe in a verbal debate, often leading to someone (most likely you) drawing a hidden knife out to make a point.

You both also enjoyed a good prank.

And that was todays problem.

You were absolutely fuming as you walked into the huge kitchen looking for the God of Mischief and cracking your knuckles when you found him sitting at the table like he usually was, flipping through one of his many books.

You didn’t look to see who else was in the room but you could feel their eyes on you.

He didn’t look up when you walked in but you could see the amusement on his face.

Obviously sensing something was up, Steve looked up at you from his seat at the other side of the table as you strode from the hallway and across the room with the most determined expression he had ever seen on your face this early in the morning.

“Y/N?” he asked worriedly only to have you hold up a finger to silence him.

You didn’t even look at him as you stared down the dark haired god.

“Loki,” you stood in front of him and kicked the leg of his chair, effectively turning him to face you.

The amused look on his face never wavered as his eyes met yours, in fact his smirk grew as he saw the rage behind your eyes.

That tipped you over the edge.

“Thor?” You turned to where the huge man stood by the coffee machine. “Asgardians heal a lot faster than humans right?”

“They do,” he said carefully, not trusting your motives.

“How much faster?”

“I suppose a wound fatal to a human would be healed completely after maybe a day or two for an Asgardian,” he shrugged.

“What about Frost Giants?,” You asked as turned back to Loki noticing the smirk was still plastered across his face but there was something else. Fear? Unlikely. He definitely dreaded where this was headed however.

“The same if not faster,” Thor’s answer was all you needed.

Drawing one of your knives seemingly from nowhere, you brought the blade down straight into Loki’s thigh.

He hissed in pain and jumped backward slightly in surprise, the harsh noise of his chair scraping along the tiled floor piercing your ears.

He stared at you in shock as the others looked on in amazement that you’d caught the Trickster so of guard.

“What the-,” he began, but you bent down to get in his face and cut him off.

“Go and get rid of it,” you said firmly, pointing down the hallway you’d initially come from.

The smirk returned to his face as you seethed before him.

“Get rid of it now,” you drew another of your knives and pointed it at him. “Or this goes in your other leg,”

“But you said you liked snakes,” he feign innocence but his voiced dripped with what you could only described as sadistic joy.

When you woke up not a half hour before you stormed into the kitchen this morning you’d heard a strange thud coming from your bathroom.

A thud followed by the sound of the hand towel hanger, rattling on its fixture like something was running against it then the soft *plop* of the towel falling to the ground.

Confused but not (yet) fearful you rose from your bed and opened the door only to slam it shut immediately.

“When I said I liked snakes I meant something like a python, the cute little ones with fat heart-shaped heads and little puppy faces,” you were shouting at this point. “I did NOT mean a full grown anaconda left to knock shit over in my fucking bathroom. Go and get it out. Now,”

You stormed off in the direction of the elevator, heading for the training room to blow off some steam, leaving the team members who witnessed the early morning assault in shock.

“Where the fuck did you get an anaconda?” Tony finally broke the silence.

“I may or may not have stolen it from the zoo,” Loki replied plainly before cursing and wincing in pain and he pulled the knife from his leg, eliciting a small laugh from Thor who watched from across the room.

“Not fun being stabbed is it, brother?”